>>24787022
It's honestly not "better". It's far too direct and loses a lot of subtlety. Look at this paragraph.
>Another practiced, bright smile, another cordial but empty felicitation.
It's very telling and needs to be direct. The original the reader already knows the bullshit smile and cordial felicitation without needing the words "bright, empty, or "A necessary charade"

It's all there. And Victoria does not need to "yearn to be haughty." she already is but suppresses it, the author never needs to state it, it's inferred. And that subtlety makes the original piece a lot better.