You ever put your hope into something, like really believe it’s gonna change your life? Yeah, me too. It was called XRP. Thought I was getting in early on the “future of finance.” Now it’s just me and a digital bag of disappointment sitting in my wallet, worth less than a bad cup of diner coffee.

The founders? Oh, they’re doing great. Got married, smiling on some beach, sipping cocktails while my portfolio looks like a crime scene. And then they resign. Yeah, just like that. “We’re stepping down to focus on our lives.” Must be nice, huh? Meanwhile, I’m sitting here “focusing” on the fact that my rent’s due and all I got are imaginary coins and regret.

And the cherry on top? Government shutdown.
ETFs? Delayed.
Companies? Reapplying like it’s Groundhog Day.
The market? Looks like it got hit by a truck full of disappointment.

I keep refreshing the price like it’s gonna magically fix itself. “Any day now,” I tell myself. “They’ll announce something big.” Yeah, sure, Harry. Maybe next they’ll release an NFT of my suffering.

So here I am, holding the world’s saddest bag of crypto confetti while the people who sold me the dream are off dancing in designer shoes.
I don’t even blame them anymore. I’d leave too if I could.

Anyway, I’m thinking of starting a new investment strategy: lighting my cash on fire. At least that gives me warmth.