>What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism is an interpersonally maladaptive personality style that encompasses a wide spectrum of traits and behavioral patterns that present in different ways, from mild to severe, vulnerable to malignant. What separates a narcissistic person from someone who is self-centered or vain or entitled is the consistency and sheer number of these traits in one person. Just being superficial doesn’t mean someone is narcissistic.

It is also looking at the function of these traits—which is to protect the narcissistic person.
>Narcissism is about a deep insecurity and fragility offset by maneuvers like domination, manipulation, and gaslighting, which allow the narcissistic person to stay in control.
The variable empathy and lack of self-awareness mean that they do not stop to consider the harm their behavior is creating for other people. The traits aren’t really the issue, but rather how these traits translate into consistently harmful behaviors.

Because traits, especially those in a rigid and unaware personality style such as narcissism, really do not change, the behavior is also unlikely to change. And because there is such a wide spectrum of narcissism, from mild to severe, we may be having very different experiences of this personality style in our relationships. The middle of this spectrum—with enough bad days to take a toll and enough good days to keep you hooked—is where many people are stuck, and that “moderate narcissism” is where we will focus.