https://youtu.be/HCIXPHWM9SM
When it becomes clear you aren’t gonna get smited… smote? Smittened? Whatever it is, your mind races with possibilities: what do you do? What do you SAY? Should you bow? Sacrifice something? A GOD! A real GOD! You always had your doubts, especially considering GREASE MONKEY exists, but here one is… as real as you are!

… wait, ARE you real? Hey, maybe you can ask him! Or her! It!

After a few intense moments of silent internal struggle, you land on an old, but amicable classic:

Nice weather today, huh?

You feel the rock beneath your feet quake as the GOD emits a deep, rumbling groan that shakes you to your core!

“ONE OF THE MANY PRODUCTS OF MY GRAND SAGACITY…” The GOD intones, each syllable rattling your head like a maraca! “GOOD OF THOU TO NOTICE, MORTAL.”

It’s uh… it’s a bit dry, you meekly remark, can he make it rain and stuff too?

“OF COURSE!” Drones the deity, “A MERE TRIFLE… AN AMUSING QUESTION, FOR A MORTAL…” You feel your flimsy footing flutter beneath your feet as the gargantuan god lurches forward like an omnipotent glacier! “...IF NOT A TAD… IMPRUDENT…”

Sensing you’ve slighted him somehow, you quickly fire back with a swift apology! You didn’t mean to peeve him off, you reply, your hands moving to make a plaintive gesture, you just… couldn’t he, like… show you? Just for a sec!

“I CAN… BUT I SHALL NOT.” Intones the immortal with a hint of derisiveness in his tone! “MY DOMINION IS PERFECT… WHAT REASON DOTH I HAVE TO AMEND IT?”

Alright, yea, that’s a decent point, you reply with a sagely nod… feeling the conversation slow to a soon-to-be-screeching halt, you decide to probe a little further into the creator’s cranium!

So… what’s godhood like anyways? The GOD drifts a bit in quiet contemplation like an iceberg adrift in the night.

“DULL,” He intones, “DREADFULLY, DREADFULLY DULL… FOR WHAT ELSE IS THERE WHEN ONE IS ALL-SEEING? ALL-KNOWING?”

Games?

“CHILDISH.”

Err, creating life?

“TOO NOISY.”

Ooh, what about expanding the world? That sounds exciting!

“AND DOUBLE THE TIME IT TAKES TO TRAVERSE MY ALREADY-PERFECT REALM? NAY, THIS ISLAND SUITS ME JUST FINE…”

You’re about to make another suggestion when it hits you: wait… isn’t he omnipotent? An uneasy silence blankets the murky abyss.

“... I HATH NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS… DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE, MORTAL… THE MAGE KNOWS I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH… THOU WOULDST DO WELL TO LEARNEST FROM THEIR EXAMPLE…”

… he CAN do God things, right?

>CONTD.