I am so fucking frustrated sexually. I cannot stand this shit. I am losing it you guys. I stopped masturbating entirely. I cannot stand porn and masturbation. It makes me angry to get horny or look at porn and cumming makes me depressed. My fetishes are fucked up too. They disgust me. I just cannot stand this aspect of myself that I can only desperately attempt to fulfil through cheap imitation. I need to have sex. It's abhorrent but I might go get a handjob from or fuck one of the Asian ladies at a massage parlor or something. But that seems awful. I mean they have to be trafficked, right? That'd be fucking evil too. I'm just fucking stuck. I want to kill myself.