I have literal shit in my underwear. I changed my underwear and pants the other day, but something about my bolstered gut microbiome has produced the most viscous of shits.

I'm going to drive and buy a powerball ticket. Just one. And I'm going to go to walmart and buy some sugar. Ice cream. Ice cream is what I want. No food, just ice cream and a powerball ticket. I have my numbers picked out. Red ball number 1; Because I'm number 1.

*sniff*