>>40828579
I KNOWW this isolation is killing me, destroying my brain. Every time the fresh air hits me it feels euphoric yet I keep staying indoors. I never leave this godforsken room, I even have blankets covering the windows so most of the sun doesnt come in.
I miss how I was when I came out of the ward, I tried offing myself earlier this year which is why I havent had a job in months, I lost it due to being in the ICU then ward. When I first came out I started feeling like everything was okay, told myself no 4chan, no more Kiwiifarms, none of that shit. Actually would go outside, had a routine, probably the happiest most peaceful Ive ever been, then I found out I got fired despite being on medical leave. Havent gone on KF ever since but obviously Im back on the image boards and been rotting away. I just got lonely and jaded.

Out here telling my life story to anons on the internet, shittalking trannies, yearning for female attention like a loser becausse really whats the point anymore. You learn to love being seen as pathetic. It becomes your identity.