>>544053002
Loving them too much doesn't stop the idea from being potentially something that was festering in him. It doesn't have to be out of malice, but something he would have potentially fallen back on to try and give himself more reasons to "not feel too bad about it".
I prefer the ambiguity of it, since either the clown is manipulative asshole that made a minor thing much worse than it seemed to fuck with him, or Philip is a lot more filthy than he seemed, and the clown just exposed that part that's constantly in the back of his mind until he couldn't deny it anymore.