>>33578724
I know I'm fucked up. I blocked her on discord already, I just need to delete our texts. The problem with not going anywhere that reminds me of her, is that I have friends who live basically right by her. I don't have a lot of things that remind me of her, thankfully.
>>33578733
Because I just do. I can't explain it. The good things we had were really good. But I know she doesn't care. I wrote a handwritten letter to her in October of last year because I said some wack shit when we last talked, and I wanted to take responsibility for that, and I, being a dumbass, felt like a handwritten letter would show effort and how genuine I was about it. But I doubt she even cared. She never reached out to me.
>>33578741
The dwelling comes and goes in flows. Like, some times it's stronger than others. Other times, I can go awhile without thinking of her.
>>33578745
She made me feel special. I definitely got love bombed, and that is probably affecting me. Like, our first two dates with 6 and 8 hours long. At the end of our second date, she was crying happy tears in my car and said I was everything she hoped for. Also some other shit. Like, I had sex before I met her and had some gfs, but she was the first girl I ever had like consistent sex with, if that makes sense. She also went on birth control for me (I have trouble maintaining with a condom. Excessive jerking off and porn addiction, I guess?), she was the first girl I've spent the night with since my previous gfs were when I was younger. IDK. It felt like I WAS special. But to end up not being special, also because she talked about her ex a lot. I dunno. It fucks me up, anon.
