I’m a tinder dev and I fucked up

Well we fucked up

So first of all Umm I think most of you guys know this but there actually isn’t a way to turn the camera off on your phone

Like it doesn’t record you but it sends every frame to our servers

We have a bunch of AI shit that analyzes things like how hard you’re masturbating when you use the app

Umm yeah for the most part we found that the men who use the app like to masturbate to it

The women not so much (we’re still not sure if women actually masturbate at all..well the women on our staff claim they do but some of us don’t believe them)

Well guys now I get to the part where we all fucked up

Well the people who wrote the AI shit fucked up

Apparently the AI was doing some kind of facial expression based sentiment analysis and them showing their cum face and going OH FUCK YEAH apparently tricked the AI into thinking their engagement level was at superhuman levels

Our algos are all about rewarding people who engage with the app and apparently
There’s no engaging’ like baton’ so the most
Prolific masturbators got bumped to the front of the queue by the algorithm and long story short we
Got a couple of missing persons reports

Oh god I think I’ve said too much