>>23161877
Have you tried not sabotaging? Its late now so i can't stay too long but i could help you through a thought excercise tomorrow if you are around.
But think back to moments where you "sabotaged" and try to remember the specific thoughts you were having before you made the decision to not do the right thing.
I dont want to put ideas in your head but people i worked with often thought about axiety of the "next step" to improving their life like a job interview and so they didnt go out of fear they would fuck if up and would rather not have the job than have a memory of messing up the job interview.
These things need to be handled on a step by step basis until you form a habbit of sticking to your guns and not sabotaging.
Its been about 6 years since ive had a client so my methods may be outdated