You have to live your truth. I somewhat understand you except I'm a half-black half-brown guy who strongly prefers brown women. As in South Asian. Even brown women who are not considered that attractive by most, to me I find myself easily attracted to them. The features of indian/paki women are exactly what I've always wanted. In college I fucked countless brown girls, even the chubby ones or ones that might be considered ugly and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Nothing feels as satisfying as cumming inside a brown girl for me.

Now I am with a brown woman for the past 4 years and I think I do want to marry her. She maybe wouldn't be considered the most attractive woman by most men, but to me, she is a queen. It's also nice that she has massive titties and is in pretty good shape. I have never had more satisfying sex in my life, and when we kiss it is passionate and magical. I want her to have my kids. At the end of the day we all have a type and it's best to just accept it and roll with it.

I hope you find an asian woman who prefers black men who will become your wife and give you blasian kids. They are out there, apparently bmaf pairing is getting more common as time goes on.