can someone tribute my mates mum?

Would love it to be BBC, but anything bigger than my 11cm would be great.

My friend went out of state for college. One weekend his dad took his brothers out of state for a Bible quizzing meet, and his mom was home alone for three days.
She was lonely and invited me over for dinner. Had a bottle of wine, and a bottle of Jack, and she never drinks.
She got wasted, and I had to help her to bed.