https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_QydNXI_ok
Laying in the sun
Brilliantly bright
My heart will
Swell and grow sunny

Those two eyes
Right down to the pupils
Are like sunflowers
And their seeds

A lover’s chat (the stories told)
Pile up (and roll over each other)
A clumped-up bundle
An entanglement

Being
Together
Is absolutely
Necessary

Except you are drawing out your important dream
Until you’re finished, throughout it all, I’ll be here waiting for you

You’re lonely rolling star
Come on, never stop standing still!
You’re lonely rolling star
So, face forward and keeping going!

A sky of stars
Sparkling and glittering
Like confetti
Waiting to congratulate you

It invites
Sweet
Painful
Thoughts

The thoughts that I’ve embraced roil and dance in the night sky
All of a sudden I want to lend a hand, to deliver myself by your side

You’re lonely rolling star
Don’t ever give up!
You’re lonely rolling star
Don’t forget to call sometimes!
You’re lonely rolling star
I want to come to you, right now!
You’re lonely rolling star
Ahh, with that last sigh

I’m spilled over the limit

Next month, shall we meet at that place?

You’re lonely rolling star
Come on, never stop standing still!
You’re lonely rolling star
Remember me, okay?
You’re lonely rolling star
I can’t keep on waiting!
You’re lonely rolling star
So face forward and keep going!

>just learnt i have German AND Jewish ancestry
This is a dark day my pol brothers, i hope to bouncr back from this cataclysmic revelation one day

>been friends with this gay guy for atleast half a year now in our friend group (I am a straight dude)
>during one big party we get to know each other better
>we actually have so much in common
>he would actually be so fucking perfect if he was a girl I would wife him up instantly
>turns out he had feelings for me this while time
>decide to explore my sexuality and we go on a few dates, we kiss, we cuddle and more but no actual touch contact on either on our dicks, because for some reason that is incredibly scary for me and any thought about it just kills my boner/horny instantly
>disgusie this by telling him I want to take it slow, he is fine with it
>however, any actual idea of thoughts of us getting sexual is just disgusting because I know I am not gay (and tried before with femboys)
>even tried watching gay/femboy porn, I am just completely flaccid and disinterested
>one time when we are watching a movie and we got a bit drunk he somewhat confesses that he is actually rich, money inherited from parents
>it makes sense, he barely worked but always had money, all the stuff he has is upper-class but not "omg look at me I am rich"
>he is fine with the idea that I would never need to work again, he would provide for everything
>however, I still do not want to even imagine of us ever having sex
>I also want kids at some point
>at this point, I would only stay with him for the money
>eventually I tell him that I was experimenting and finding myself and I think I do not want a gay relationship
>he is very understanding of this, says it is fine
>we lose contact completely (can not blame him)

Now 3 days later it is hitting me like a truck - I could have had life on easy mode if I just agreed to have another man's dick in me.

How do I cope out of this. I am absolute middle class with no debts and my own place to live and a car but the fact that I could have had a life of luxury if I just agreed to suck his dick from time to time keeps me awake at night.