>>105854516
I'll help you with some basic formatting to improve the readability for an image board

>What else is going on? Cool projects in the work.
>I've been working on stuff for the coverment, but I can't tell you about it, and some things are kind of up in the air, and a lot of things have unfortunately frustratingly fallen through, and that's just life.
>That's life, but yeah, I definitely, I needed this break, partially because I was struggling with like, a lot of burnout.
>Burnout not because I was working too hard - well I mean, I was probably pushing it a little too hard at times, and maybe for a little too long with slowing down.
>But there was a lot of burnout around disappointment just because things kept falling through.
>Projects were going down the fucking drain, stuff like that.
>There's a lot of stuff I can't even talk about that didn't end up working out, obviously because it's behind the scenes and it's stuff that isn't going to see the light of day but its still under like the branch of my job as an idol, so it's stuff that I'm not supposed to mention.
>But I've had like 5...6 things in the last two months fall through.
>Some of those things have been in the works for like a year and a half, so that sucks.
>But that's just the way it goes sometimes.
>And some of those the things are still going but they've been in the works for so long at this point, it's hard to stay excited about it.
>It feels like they're never going to be there; they're always on the horizon but they're never done.
>That's OK though.

>But anyway, I needed the break because mostly I was struggling with that kind of stuff, but also I've been butting heads a lot with the coverment, which is going to happen.
>Let's not pretend that doesn't happen everywhere all the time.
>It's the nature of the beast - unfortunately sometimes you're just going to have disagreements or you know, you're going to have a different vision than corporations have for things, and that is a little frustrating.
>Especially when it comes to things that I know you guys are going to interface with, so for example I had to push merch back, which fucking sucked.
>And that's a lot of butting heads with different aspects of the job, and at this point I've kind of just, I'm getting ready to take a hands off approach with that.
>We'll see how it goes.

>I'm taking a last shot in the dark and if it works out, great.
>If not, maybe we just skip merch this year.
>We'll figure it out next year.
>But, I am, for the most part, I've come to terms with that.

>I needed some time to relax.
>I needed some time to be away from work and to just kind of take a deep breath and exist.
>And I hope things work out, and if they don't work out, I mean, whatever, dude.
>That's, that's the way it goes sometimes.

>I, first and foremost, my goal is to make sure I'm not getting - I'm never putting out stuff for you guys that I would not myself want or purchase.
>Because I'm just not going to do that.
>If it comes down to that then I will stamp my feet and act like a fucking petulant brat, and if I have to be a fucking idol diva, then I'll be an idol diva and say "fuck it, no merch".
>So be it.
>Sorry.
>Sorry! But I'm hoping, I'm hopeful that we'll see, we'll still see it come out at some point.
>I don't know yet.

>But I would like to condition this with, also, the mane's have been exceptional and working really hard, especially for like the concert and things like that.
>They've done a lot on the backend and it's never any one individual person's thing that makes this happen.
>It's just the nature of being stuck in the bureaucracy of a lot of moving parts and a lot of big wigs who I never see, or interface with.
>That's life.
>That's the reality of working with a company.
>It happens, and that's OK.
>I will navigate that as best I'm able, and just rest assured I'm not going to put out anything I don't think you guys would enjoy.
>And if I do, well, I'll let you know.

>I don't want to sound super dour.
>Obviously I took a break for many reasons.
>I've been working really hard.
>I needed time to like, kind of take a breath.
>I needed time to reevaluate.

>And I was a little bit maybe overwhelmed with the amount of support that came in during birthday, because it was a lot.
>And I was kind of in my feels a little bit about the journey we've been together.
>And the journey we're going to keep going on - that I'm excited about.
>But I needed time to process and kind of, I don't know, dude, explore my mental and remind myself how excited I am to be here.
>And how exciting this like, position I'm in is, and how much of a blessing it can be and most of the time is.
>So I'm glad I took the time to kind of reevaluate and remind myself to be hype again.
>And I'm glad to be back.
>Yippee!