conquered insomnia by weaponizing my autism

i used to lie there for hours, frustrated about the time i was wasting. now i just close my eyes, relax and bootstrap something akin to a lucid dream

i'll spawn a scene, a couple npcs, and just let the simulation run. when i get stuck on a plot point, i use my own body as the RNG. i'll hold a question in my mind, and a gut feeling literally determines the outcome. tummy feels tense? it's an ambush. feel a weird warmth? the artifact is in this room. i've got a whole open world soulslike with a custom magic system running in my head now. infinitely immersive internal larp

it's changed how i see my daily life, too. i get now that everything i experience, the books, shows, people i talk to, is just feeding my imagination in the background. my brain just recycles all of it into the world in my head, which makes my normal, everyday life feel like it has a quiet purpose and is part of something bigger

not sure if ascending or just going full schizo