>German/Polish/French mutt
>Have a tendency to shave my head really close because it's easier to take care of, requires no effort in the morning
>Makes me look like a skinhead/klansman/etc
>Strangely, I can only seem to attract colored women
>Black, black/white mix, Spanish, etc
>used to even do those speed dating events
>would show up and it's either fat bitches or dark skinned women who are blatantly showing they're attracted to me
>The one black girl I was with in college absolutely loved race role play
>things like calling her nigger (hard R included) while I'm fucking her like property
>Become unfortunately comfortable saying nigger because of how much she wants to be called it
>people and parents asking when I'm gonna be having kids or at least locking down a steady woman
>they keep trying to hook me up exclusively with black women or at least dark skinned women
>I have this thing where I'll fuck any color, but I don't want mixed race kids.
>Want a white wife and white kids so they can at least look like me
>call it vanity, but idc
>Always heavily criticized and questioned why I feel I have the "right" to say I don't want mixed kids
>been made to feel that being white and wanting to be with white to make white is racist
>The shaved head, predilection for saying nigger, and the negative emotions I think are turning me unironically, actually racist
>Keep seeing anti-white sentiment in things I normally never questioned.

I always just figured my choice was a preference. No different than if a black man told me he wants a black wife for black kids. I just see it as common sense. Am I just a closeted racist and seeing shit where there's nothing to see like a schizo? I'm successful in my career and am on the verge of hiring one of those matchmakers for me to find a not fat white woman who wants kids because I'm getting sick of this shit. Pic related. The mental point I'm at when someone says "that's racist" to me.