Search - 4rchive

>Robert, I've got some bad news.
>A real stinker, Robert.
>Vivi's pregnant.
>And I'm ninety percent sure that Malevola's the father.
>I know, I know - you're confused.
>But you shouldn't be.
>I've seen your browser history.
>You're a man of refined tastes.
>Big demons with big sausages?
>Hey, Robert, I get it, but this is serious:
>There's a good chance Visi is going to give birth to the anti-christ.
>And I'm going to have to be that kid's godfather.
>It'll do awful things to my portfolio.
>Also, the end of existence, or he becomes a politician. Either's bad.
>So, I you need to get in there and save the world.
>And by 'in there' I mean inside Mal.
>You're got to even things out.
>She's the father of the anti-christ, but you also make her the mother of Robert IV.
>Or, fuckin' Roberta, I don't know.
>The point is you; you need to go give her 5 CCs of heroic lineage, stat.

>Hey, Robert, thanks.
>Again, I mean.
>For not cutting me.
>So I, uh, wanted to pay you back, you know, and I saw that Mal's been giving you the goo-goo eyes.
>And I thought of you, and how you're probably thinking that's not a bad deal, right?
>"Big dommy mommy demon Gee Eff" and whatever.
>Seen it before, and I know how it ends.
>Just politely decline, or just... I don't know. Keep it above the waist?
>We were room-mates and, Robert, she brought over guys before.
>The screams... they uh...
>They haunt me to this day... Listen, it's-
>Robert, it's like razor wire down there. We're talking broken glass AND broken fiberglass.
>Literally half-demon, so it shouldn't be so much of a surprise, but holy fuck.
>Or unholy fuck, I guess. I've only seen the aftermath... The blood.
>Listen, Robert, I like you. Just settle for a quick blowie and maybe some booby-action.
>If we need to get another dispatcher while you're in the hospital with no dick, then I just am gonna say I told you so,
>And give a get well soon card for your missing penis.