I just came a few minutes ago
Shoved my disgusting genitals which I hate inside a silicone toy repeatedly until the built up pressure released
And in the moments of clarity right after that, all I could think of is how disgusting of a human being I am
I hate myself, I have having a libido, and I hate having to masturbate regularly, even if it's just once or twice a week
I don't want this, I hate this, this is genuinely distressing and infuriating

How do you even live with this?