Calm

I struggle with my work.
I'm a writer, I work almost exclusively alone and I thought 2024 would be the year I find more and more contracts to stabilize but I've been grieving a friend who was murdered late 2023 and now I'm extremely poor and can't imagine myself taking a shitty job just to earn a little money.
I feel like a fucking child whining, maybe I should just "man up" and go take a job at the factory but it's like I physically can't, I already have so much to do...