>>41603001
Copypasted. Don't be an idiot.

>>41602167

>Most people who are LGBT were unsuccessful dating their opposite-gender
Not exactly. When that occurs, its a secondary consequence. It doesn't begin as a sexual attraction. Remember, the framework is set before puberty. Also, it has to be distinguished from sexual fascinations, which can occur for any number of reasons. This is what makes it difficult to explain, because any number of precursor motives can result in the same outcome. Gays and straights both focus on the 'sexual' outcome and assume instant causality, because its easier than thinking.

The attraction you are particularly alluding to begins with emotions, which is probably obvious. But here also, it can emerge from different origins. So there are parallel paths that overlap and/or converge, but they are individual.

The most common, typical ones begin with male identity. The individual may struggle in competence or skill-sets to relate to their peers and struggles socially. This can produce a longing to be validated by peers.

Simultaneously, it can create a self perception of inferiority. If this occurs before pre-adolescent sexual interest, the person may feel inadequate for seeking female validation, and the females may corroborate this socially. This reflects a problem with the typically secular practice of co-ed education in youth, because it reinforces this pattern too soon.

Moreover, its less likely to interest the individual because their primary anguish relates to males first, because that is where the daily interactions are more likely to occur, in male company. Desperation sets in, so individual insecurity becomes a motive to resolve. This begins a thinking pattern of accepted humility, where humiliation bias-confirms their own self rejection.

I do empathize with a lot of people with unpopular sexual interests, and sympathize as well.

Sometimes I think giving the interests a name is what paints a target on it. People who share it think "thats me" and people who judge it openly make that person feel bad, and often the person has no one to commiserate with. (Among the volatile mix of problems when exposing minors to sex young).

I think its a vicious cycle. A person emotionally bonds with some interest, feels isolated in their peer group because of it, knows it will draw attack if announced, and becomes fearful, then combined with despair. In essence, shame.

So the desire to find some compassionate outlet burns hotter, and motivates them to focus on it even more and seek others. Now by having a word for it, it becomes the identity they seek to group with. After having felt fear and despair for so long, this becomes their euphoria, freedom from judgment and persecution.

So now they never want to leave. Now they *have* to keep focusing on it in order to feel safe. Eventually they will militantly organize to defend it. They always feel under attack, and always have anxiety over it.

And now they are in the identity trap. And they suffer whether they find that group or don't. Its a no win situation for them.

It never would have progressed that far if someone had not put a name to it.

And thats just one reason I get bitchy about the subject of labels. People are led to believe they serve to build communities but it just takes over and crushes peoples lives. And they are certain the threat is coming from outside.

I dont remember how old I was when I became certain that there was an unseen intelligence sabotaging my life. There is much random misfortune in the world. But there are patterns also. As a non-theist, I ultimately had to conclude the intelligence causing the pattern that I could not see was me.

Which is why I always advocate introspection. It helps to know how ones own mind was built.