>>42758308
I hope you got better now, but yeah, you picked the best part to read. You could give Krastos a second chance later if you want to, but you probably wouldn't enjoy it all that much.
>The gore tag
This is the problem with the tags. A pretty graphic scene of a filly losing a leg should necessitate the [Gore], but it makes you think of the grimderp that usually earns the tag for most other fics.
>was AJ just trying to get AB killed
Either the kelpie made those wisps visible only to the fillies (she fails to capture even the CMCs), or AJ knew and thought that shutting down the idea was better than potentially exposing them to the kelpie's spell in some way.
>but offer no comment.
Probably appropriate, desu.

>>42758310
>is that each scene feels so isolated,
That's exactly the problem. Maybe he didn't want to write more; maybe he thought a slower pacing wouldn't fit. But in the end, it feels like he wrote the more important part of the story and just skipped the rest.
>I got to appreciate some of what the fic did.
I mean, yes, but the fic is still partially to blame for presenting itself in this way. It's good, but it's not HV's best for sure.
>it has this weird balance of show and tell
The second part is better, I agree, but this felt appropriately surreal for me. I really like his writing style so it could be that I'm getting fooled into looking past the story's problems. Not that it has many. Right, I saw one missing quotation mark!
>I really like the general mood of the fic, though.
I wish I could say that, but it just didn't do enough to establish that mood for me. I'd concede that it maybe works much better as audio—I was reading it normally. Audio would also require replacing the formatting gimmicks with something else, which should help the fic.
>Once shit hits the fan, why are you still writing?
My "favorite" parts are when Twilight writes down her notes on the trip from Golden Oaks to the farm, and when Applejack narrates her mad murder spree and its consequences.

>>42758315
>But something about that beginning part certainly didn't reel me in at all.
That might be valid. Grimm's writing style makes for a very enjoyable read for me. He's good at putting them words together.