>>82987509
Some time passed and she had some kind of altercation with her roommate, causing her to make another suicide attempt. This time I was awake for it and she sent me some messages, basically being a suicide note. I begged her to stop but there was nothing I could do. This was so upsetting and traumatic that I was basically bedridden for the next week, barely eating. With the little energy I had, I frantically contacted as many people in her life as I could, and would eventually hear from her mother that she was still alive, and was given the information to call her in hospital. I called her every day until she got out. I made the mistake of contacting her friend, who assumed I was grooming her or something, and basically strong-armed her into cutting all contact with me as a condition of staying with her for a while. So she broke up with me and I was bedridden for another few days. That didn't last very long and she would sneak out to write me emails in secret. And then moved out very quickly to start talking to me again. Things were mostly back to normal after that, and we were getting very close to having her visit in a month or two. Both of us seemed pretty excited by that.
Then, after six months of dating, almost to the day, she got laid off at work (possibly just temporarily until demand picks up again). I woke up to a voice message saying she was breaking up with me and that she should have cut me off from the beginning and set up her life so she wouldn't hurt so many people when she stumbles like this. She said I was a good person and that she was awful but didn't care anymore. She said she wasn't going to kill herself, but would hurt herself if I contacted anyone in her life, or kill herself if she had to.
I'm still trying to process what even happened. I'm very saddened by this turn of events but maybe not as much as I should be, especially with the reaction I had last time. I'm not sure what to feel. I'm not sure what to do if she comes back again.