>>515020752
>Good day. Today, is the 7th of September, TWENTY, twenty five, and today has seen a rather COMICAL turn of events, that could not have been predicted, quite frankly, in my wildest and raunchiest
>snicker
of dreams. It appears that, and I must stress that this is most certainly not confirmed by any means, but it does in fact appear to be the case from my sources, which of course, as always, must remain anonymous to protect their identities and livelihoods
>DING
>woof woof woof woof woof
that Zelensky, in a fit of rage after seeing a video provided to him by members of the anti-corruption bureau investigating his cabinet and ministers, that showed his wife allegedly having - and I must say, this part is quite graphic, but must be stated nonetheless - intercourse wherein, unsurprisingly, she was the party entering Emmanuel Macron's posterior end with a prolific phallus shaped object strapped to her nether regions, threw an incendiary device that was described to me as something of a Molotov Cocktail into one of the hallways on the uppermost floor of the Ukrainian government headquarters.
>BRRRRRRRING
>cough
>ahem
>waves hands in a magical fashion