>>11354892
No, you should go to munches. Stop cold messaging people. The people you actually want to talk to do not respond to cold messages, or will troll you. I get two or three dudes in my DMs per week asking to have sex with me, or be their dom or sub or whatever. Or they act nice and try to make small talk, even though my profile explicitly states that I'm an asexual lesbian. Either way it's gross, and I don't respond to them.

Good cold messages are something along the lines of "Hey, I'm new, I saw you're going to X munch, I was looking through people's bios to find out what to expect, I saw from your bio that you're interested in Y, maybe we could meet up at the event, looking forward to meeting people." That's the sort of thing I'll actually respond to. Almost everyone I know loves mentoring new people. I too have met people at munches, made friends with them, and brought them to rope nights. But please don't spam DMs. It's not a dating site.

I feel like this should go without saying, but please for the love of god do not message random people and ask to start a relationship with them. Your chances of running into a predator are decently high. But the main issue is that the people who know what they're doing and have an eye for safety will almost certainly say no or ghost you. Whereas the people who don't know what they're doing and do not have an eye for safety are more likely to say yes. Even if they're well-meaning, you could be in danger.

Soooo, stay safe out there.