P3
My third is point is more personal. You are coward and failure and hence why use this whole moral debate to console yourself that you are not part of all of it and instead a part of something good. That at least something in this life you did right and better than others. The truth is, you are just running away from being part of humanity and of this world. No animal will thank you for your sacrifice, only humans can define and notice your action as good, animals are not spiritual cuckolds like that. Grow a spine. My mom is like that and there is no sight more pathetic. Suffering is not all what life amounts to. You just choose to suffer in this particular situation, by stubbornly refusing to accept the nature of life. Death is necessary and pain is temporary. You are making your suffering ever present for yourself when turn away accepting the truth. You don't own anyone to hurt yourself for their sake and neither do they owe that to you. And making such threads is by the way, a for of self-harm, as is constantly watching animal torture.