NNN is pointless if you don't accompany it with some form of spiritual practise. You'll be consumed by lust that you have no deep understanding of its roots or origin, and nothing will keep you grounded from your urges. It doesn't have to be meditation.
If not fapping is taking up this much of your mental bandwidth, then you've already lost.
4chan Search
2 results for "e0b6be48d3ee31d870a20c89e62d3b0c"
Regret not throwing my life away for justice?
>be me
>get job construction
>few coworkers, one I found cool
>this other guy, big and really quiet and polite at first
>he was cool, until started bantering
>awkwardly funny at first, became persistent, then he became a very negative person
>kept calling me bitch, didnt care for it at first, already figured this guy got grossly insecure, one time he thought me and the other coworker im cool with was gossiping about him
>he pushed it too far with my other coworker, became a big commotion, big guy was like "calm down it was a joke"
>whispers to me "im next"
>thats when i seriously became pissed off, knowing that others were becoming victims, and he was intentionally trying to rile us all up
>eventually I start returning the heat
>eventually big pussy guy quits the job, calls the manager says hes getting bullied
>we all laugh, nobody actually cared, i get jokingly egged on for being big bad bully lol
>still cant let go of the echoes of my mind, being called bitch repeatedly
>i couldve been anyone, i couldve been some less fortunate guy and get completely broken by him
>meditate a lot, still regret not stabbing the fucker when I had the chance, making peace of my own death/consequences/karma/imprisonment
>feels like Ive pushed hard in the gym all these years for nothing, feel dishonorable, not a man, benching 2 plates but cant save anyone
So long as I knew I rid this world of one less evil, I would've been more than happy to give my life and future away. He's still out there breathing and that bothers me. It's been a year since this all happened.
>get job construction
>few coworkers, one I found cool
>this other guy, big and really quiet and polite at first
>he was cool, until started bantering
>awkwardly funny at first, became persistent, then he became a very negative person
>kept calling me bitch, didnt care for it at first, already figured this guy got grossly insecure, one time he thought me and the other coworker im cool with was gossiping about him
>he pushed it too far with my other coworker, became a big commotion, big guy was like "calm down it was a joke"
>whispers to me "im next"
>thats when i seriously became pissed off, knowing that others were becoming victims, and he was intentionally trying to rile us all up
>eventually I start returning the heat
>eventually big pussy guy quits the job, calls the manager says hes getting bullied
>we all laugh, nobody actually cared, i get jokingly egged on for being big bad bully lol
>still cant let go of the echoes of my mind, being called bitch repeatedly
>i couldve been anyone, i couldve been some less fortunate guy and get completely broken by him
>meditate a lot, still regret not stabbing the fucker when I had the chance, making peace of my own death/consequences/karma/imprisonment
>feels like Ive pushed hard in the gym all these years for nothing, feel dishonorable, not a man, benching 2 plates but cant save anyone
So long as I knew I rid this world of one less evil, I would've been more than happy to give my life and future away. He's still out there breathing and that bothers me. It's been a year since this all happened.