>>149961176
for a while I would guess. About 3-5 years maybe?
I never been opposed to the idea of being in the circus, and would probably like it. To be honest I had thoughts of killing myself (not anymore obviously) so an situation where I'm technically dead, but able to live for potentially forever in a fantasy land seem really nice

The only reason why I think that would happen is because of resentment or regret bubbling up inside until it breaks me.