WELCOME TO THE TURKISH BATHHOUSE DAMAGE CONTROL CENTER

PLEASE CHECK ALL THAT APPLY
[x] Losing was part of my plan all along
[x] My opponent Is secretly on my side
[x] I lost on purpose, therefore I win
[x] You didn't win by my rules, therefore you lose
[x] There must be a loophole that will let me win after all
[x] I told a lie and you didn't notice; therefore I'm smarter than you and am the real winner
[x] We didn't need it anyway
[x] It wasn't real but we believed in it so it was real
[x] Whatever happens to me that is negative in nature is actually happening to you
[ ] I actually concede you were right