I got raped in college but desu I barely remember it.

>at this frat party
>pretty wasted
>just entered my "bicurious" phase and started experimenting with other guys
>had only hooked up with a couple femboy twinks and fancied myself an exclusive top
>but at this party I found myself getting chatted up by a guy who was taller and more built than me
>remember enjoying the attention, but also thinking he was way too masculine for me
>but from there my memory gets fuzzy
>not sure if he roofied me
>or if I just drank too much and started blacking out
>but the rest of the night is just a series of disjointed scenes in my mind
>remember that guy helping me walk across campus, supposedly taking me back to my dorm
>but somehow ending up at his place instead
>there was another guy there
>his dormmate I guess?
>remember their hands all over me
>one of them sticking his tongue down my throat in a really rough kiss
>me weakly protesting while my clothes got pulled off
>one of them held me pinned to him in a full-body hug while the other worked his dick into my ass
>clearly remember saying I'm not a bottom, squirming and failing to get away, all while he just kept holding me in place and telling me to relax
>from there it just turns into a confused blur again
>them both taking turns on my mouth and ass for while felt like hours and hours (though my sense of time was fucked)
>remember begging one of them not to cum in me, only for him to laugh and say "too late"
>woke up the next day in a naked cuddle pile with both of them
>had a killer hangover, covered with dried cum
>surprisingly my ass didn't hurt though, despite how much I'd gotten fucked
>I quickly pulled my clothes and gtfo out of there before either of them were fully awake
>took a walk of shame back to my dorm at like 6am
>went to the bathroom, shit out their cum
>got in the shower, cried a bit, and then had the guiltiest fap of my life thinking about what had just happened