I've been on the same situation as you since I was 12.
I'm still trying to get out of this state, so I don't have much to do here but to wish you good luck with it, don't give up.
>>33864919
>its boring to not have it physically
Have you tried listening to audiobooks while taking a walk? It's not as good as the physical thing but better than a pdf.

>>2065620
>that someone in China made that decision before the start date