I had an epiphany today. When I'm on a long streak, the primary cause of a relapse is not seeing lewd images online or anything like that, it's having a flirty interaction with some girl in real life, then getting all sexually pent up and excited reflecting on the interaction later in the day, and because simply reflecting on the memory is "not enough," I go to porn and jerk off. It starts with those unexpected IRL interactions. Like today, there was some girl I was dealing with at work for about 15 minutes. She was extremely hot but I definitely wasn't attempting to flirt with her as I never do such a thing at work or with any women. But then my boss came over afterward and was jokingly like, "does [your gf] know you flirt with some of the girls that come in here?" and now I can't help but wonder if I had some unintentional magnetism going on, and the implication that I COULD'VE had that girl if I wanted to is giving me strong urges for the first time on this streak. As always, though, I know whether or not I will relapse before I do, and I know I will not relapse because of this. Just an interesting anecdote and realization today. It's not seeing lewd imagery online, it's unassuming, unintentional IRL shit.
