My mother has a brain tumor and my father died 8 days ago because of lung cancer (never held a cigarette in his life also didnt drink a drop of alcohol).Seeing him waste away slowly, how he got skinnier and skinnier. How his legs failed together with his organs. He said he would rather die than live like this, and he did. I am very close to running into the next synagogue I can find and taking with me as many as I can. I havent slept and eaten in 4 days and have started fights almost every time I went outside. Yesterday I almost threw hands with the cashier at a supermarket because he looked at me funny but I was luckily stopped by some grandma. Going outside at 3AM and screaming Teufelslied, Braune Kompanie and other songs on the dark field (pic rel) is the only thing that gives me any feeling towards life. How will I not lose my mind and end up on the news papers? I have done a LOT of LSD when I was 19-23 (25 now), also tried Shrooms and Ketamine. These were very effective to get rid of trauma, to realize that the filthy jew is behind everything and has changed my personality to the better. Dont have access to those now sadly but I could visit the Netherlands to take shrooms. Some of you have surely been beaten down in life like this. Do you have any advice?

Cheers