I am getting a divorce from the woman I thought would be the mother of my children. I am being fucked out of 3 and a half years of financially supporting her through college so she could get her Masters debt free. She isn't showing it to me directly but she's losing it, and I won't be there to catch her, not anymore.

I have to be out of the house I rent from my parents very soon, so that they can sell it and have my dad retire. The house is in such a horrible state that there is now way its going to sell for a decent price. They have offered to let me buy from them at cost but I don't make enough at my dead end job to afford any mortgage here. So there's gonna be a day where they are gonna see the state of the house and disown me or make me pay for the repairs, either way I might be homeless very very soon and I honestly kinda don't care.

I am learning to draw and I write whatever I am feeling at that moment so I can look back and know things will be better but recently my dreams haven't peering to far into the future and I fear I might died/ or be dead soon.

This might be me screaming into the void, but all I ever wanted was to be happy. I really don't need a ton ya know? but I don't think I am gonna be okay unless something major changes in my favor.