anyone else tired of seeing this faggot?

this is deciding if I continue to rep or if I get back on hrt. I’m 19 and 5.6 abt 135 lbs. I was probably more trutrans in my youth( telling best friend at age of 7 that “I want to be a girl when I grow up “) plus this has been an over arching issue since I was young and before I had the words to explain how I felt. I feel very conflicted of if I will even make it, and if I will actually be happier. My priority is to be happier. Senpai will likely disown if they find out I started again. I will answer any questions you have in replies