>>545056581
it’s always a fine day with you around!

You’ve been a tremendous asset to me, and I want to repay you in kind. There’s a smarmy guy in the Bannered Mare buying drinks for everyone. Throwing money around like a drunken sailor. We got to talking, and I told him you can take on any drinking contest he dreams up. He took the bet. What a moron, huh? I’ve got 20,000 septims riding on you, champ. Go to the Bannered Mare and accept his challenge, and I’ll split the money. Easiest damn payoff you and I ever made. Oh, and it’s a fine day with you around.

My sources inform me Jarl Elisif has hired a bodyguard. Some giant orc. Like we don’t know what the fuck that’s all about. Apparently she was fucking this horse-cocked orc before she married Torygg. No wonder that humiliated motherfucker gave himself up to Ulfric without fighting back. He couldn’t live with the shame. I bet fucking her was like throwing a petty soul gem down the Hall of Stories. Now Elisif pretends she’s in mourning while Boc the orc rails her blown out snatch every night. I’ve contacted Taarie who is on our payroll. She has a way to get you inside the Blue Palace dressed in a fancy suit. Find Elisif’s bedroom and search for incriminating blackmail evidence. It would benefit us immensely if I could project the power of my cartel right into the Blue Palace and influence their decisions. Oh, and it’s a fine day with you around.

>>542049708
So very true

I’ve got to make payroll this month. I have plenty of investments, but I need instant liquidity. I own a majority stake in Honorhall Orphanage. We’re going to burn it down for the insurance. Except, I don’t have insurance on the building. But I hold double indemnity coverage on the lives of the orphans housed therein. If they die at midnight from a grease fire on the third Mondas of Second Seed I collect double on every orphan they pull from the ashes. Too much? How about this. Delphine will pay a jarl’s ransom for the head of Parley Chex, or whatever the fuck that wyvern is called. You decide what project you want to take. I don’t care either way, I just need the money, and it’s a fine day with you around.

>>539219289
Forgot picture like an idiot, sorry

I’ve got drug shipments going out everyday this week, and not enough security to cover them. Tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to hire a necromancer. There’s always some scabbed up old whore hanging around the Ritual Stone. Tell her I’ll give her a Daedra heart if she raises skeletons to accompany my shipments. Here, take it. The shipments are traveling by night anyway, and those ragged out bitches will suck off a skeever for a chance at a Daedra heart. At the end of the week when all my shipments have reached their destination safely, ice that bitch quick, and get my Daedra heart back. Those goddamn things don’t grow on trees. Oh, and it’s a nice day with you arournd.

When Carlotta says she has fresh baked loaves for sell she’s not talking about bread. That worn out mattress has fucked half the people in Whiterun to pay for her moon sugar habit. Hell, I’ve seen that skank suck the spigot on the Sleeping Tree—and therein lies our problem. She’s drinking up our profits and that sap is one of my biggest money-makers. I want you to set up surveillance on Carlotta. Next time she leaves Whiterun break her kneecaps and give her a warning to leave that tree alone or her daughter’s head comes off and I’ll hang that on the Sleeping Tree. Don’t take too long because it’s always a fine day with you around.