>>58332774
>>58332781
>That, or challenging me to a Pokemon battle to stop, since that is seemingly a very common way of conflict resolution, lol.
He trained so hard, all just for a single purpose. Getting you to stop suffering!
He could give you the pouty treatment until you agree to only reading acclaimed classics.
>in between/while taking care of her child.
Okay this is seriously impressive, I can't manage that kind of multi-tasking even with what I've been dealing with, which is objectively a lot less stressful lol. This gets my utmost respect.
>The worldbuilding/exposition is clunky, slow and dumps detail after detail every two pages or so.
This is a wonderful idea, if the intention is to bore the reader out of their skull lol. Personally I tend to find that kind of stuff even a bit pretentious in general. If what's in the exposition is relevant, it'll pop up when it matters aka in relevant scenes.
>while Harry just smokes (presumably tobacco) in the original.
He does? What the fuck lol. Kinda weird for a children's book protagonist. I was never into HP so this is news to me...
>'She had a body; she could feel it wrapped around her like a cage'
With no context it sounds like there's a corpse lying on top of her, with their arms wrapped around her. I can't see your screen shot at all, ouch. Site won't load and I smell some DNS fuckery.
>what I think is the part that'd you'd dislike the most.
Between that and the forced breeding haha. You got me, Anon...
>if people are willing to sit through me rambling on..
I'm always up for it, this is the kind of discussion I love! You gave some pretty great insight, that's seriously what I wish I could see more of in book reviews...