>2026
>E3 announced to restart
>gaben's boat arrives in LA
>dewritos king geoff the host with the most presents new releases
>"and to leave the best for last... i present mr gaben newell of valve"
>stage darkens
>the crowd is going ballistic, starting a moshpit
>linkin park what i've done starts play
>the weak are being trampled underfoot in the moshpit
>searchlights center on stage
>gaben lifted via crane system from his boat to the convention center
>they just lower him and smash through the roof
>debris crushes the unlucky in the mad mosh pit
>gaben announces "half life episode 2 part 3"
>the camera operators lift up the broadcasting cameras and throw it into the audience sacrificial pit, then jump off while hanging themselves with the wires from the cameras
>gaben's gravity field stresses the san andreas fault, causing earthquakes up and down california and all the way to japan
>"...2026 will be worth the weight"
>the internet shuts down from googlebytes of shitposting around the world
>convention center becomes a bloodbath
>crane disintegrates, dropping gaben onto a lubricated red carpet
>race riots in LA allow gaben to slip back to his boat in the sea
