>>40837612
Its okay
You dont deserve the misery youre enduring. At least I hope you dont. Its not your fault that you were forced into the position you were by society. Its not your fault that other people refuse to respect you or treat you with dignity.
I see your posts as the cry for help that they are. Youre lashing out at the wrong people, but youre doing it because they indirectly hurt you - like a wild animal biting at someone trying to remove a bear trap.
People who are trying to support you like this arent your enemies, they are your allies - perhaps your greatest allies. If they are causing you harm by trying to help you, say something, please. Talk about what you need, set boundaries to guard yourself while you heal. But dont lash out and please dont spiral on it - dont convert love to hate.
Do you have any close friends you can share your experiences with? Have you considered seeing a therapist about your ideation? I promise you dont need to take a permanent solution to (hopefully) temporary problems.
