>Fire solves ALL PROBLEMS

"Fine!" you say. "I will!"

And then you have to. It's as simple as that. You raise The Sword above your head and duck and charge, your armored boots clanking (shouldn't there be glorious music?), the flames on your blade billowing and billowing into a banner— and when you are halfway to Ramsey you skid short and send the flames whipping into the air, ripping white gashes in the dark, ripping towards Ramsey— one, two, three brilliant swings, three brilliant gouts of flame, which Ramsey casually sidesteps one, two, three times.

The flames skid off into the distance, leaving shimmery afterimages. "Damn," Ramsey says. "That's it?"

"I—" You square your shoulders. "I was testing you! That was merely a test! Witness how my valiant flames have brought, um, heroic light to your wicked darkness!"

Oddly, the darkness remains burnt away where the flames traveled. "Huh." Ramsey extends a shadow claw and pinches one of the tattered 'edges' shut. "That's cool, I guess. You weren't going to try to chop off my head?"

She was supposed to have scrambled out of the way of the flame, or at least flinched, and then you would've pounced upon her and— "I will not reveal my plans to an evil Crown-Thief!"

"Snickers said you might've. But I guess the little guy doesn't know everything, huh?" She scratches "Snickers"' chin. "Anyways. Got a shot, lost your shot. Let's try this my way. Remind me, Snicks, what's the— you know, the one with the—"

The snake raises its head.

"Oh, right. [WIND]!"

At once there's a catastrophic wind, hurricane-force, blowing against you. You are too heavy and your center of gravity is too secure to tumble, or even stumble, backwards: you remain in place, hair whipping around you. Nothing else is quite so lucky. In the distance, your long-gone embered flames billow up again, less a banner, more a wall— and are hurtling back toward you. Ramsey billows too, her cloak a perfect void around her, and catches the wind at her back. She hurtles too, the axe gleaming.

You have maybe a second before your own head is chopped off.

(Choices next.)