I'm pretty sure I could fix my head with some studies, meds and therapists. But if I do that I'll get kicked out of the military, and I won't be able to become a firefighter which is my dream job.

I'll just keep pretending to be fine, I'll just vent on here once in a while. It'd be nice to not fell suicidal, exhausted and generally numb all the time though, but alas these are my cards.

"Professionals don't have mental health issues"
-Government

I haven't interacted with a woman near (+ or - 5 years) my age in 4 years.

I am 20 years old