I’m laughably weak and obese, and have zero willpower or desire to learn martial arts as a method of self-defense. Fortunately, I live in America.

>>508999497
I agree this is the actual subtext of OP's proposition
>>508997764
Well? What can you offer me to join? Can I join chemical weapons research?

>>508144789
Sounds pretty tough. Wait a minute, I’m American! HAHAHAHAHAHA!