>go to dentist
>my teeth are chipped and fractured
>dentist asks: “do you grind your teeth?”
>yes
>(because everyday I live in such anger and fury because all my parents do is infantilize me, threaten me, my dad calls me fat mentally ill retard and such, amongst other things)
>go to the doctor from immense stomach pain
>find out I have gallbladder stones
>hmmmmmm I wonder why I have that
>oh yeah, it’s because I smoke my ass off with 4 joints everyday and stuff my face with fast food like a pig to help cover my deep sadness in me
>get back from the hospital
>quit fast food and pot
>parents still nag me, still treat me like a 5 year old (they have both said dozens upon dozens of times that’s where I’m at mentally), dad still calls me horrible names
>try to talk to my friends about it
>either they don’t talk/respond, they tell me my life isn’t bad because I’m not poor or living in Africa/some third world country, or some have even mocked and made fun of me
>I used to have a full head of hair 7 years ago
>it’s all gone now pretty much because I’m so stressed out all the time
>whenever I tell my parents I’m stressed out they just say “why are you stressed? Don’t be stressed” and nothing else
>afraid to talk to my therapist because I have seen like 8+ of them in my lifetime and a lot of them would just send me to the mental ward if I said something too fucked up in how I felt
>grandma, one of the few people that is mostly a net positive in my life, is dying
>parents are also finally divorcing after my whole childhood, teen years, and adult life living with them fighting and screaming at eachother
>my brother hates me at worst, wants nothing to do with me at best
>my aunt is a druggie
>the rest of my family is on my dad’s side and he left them because they’re horrible people (he was right about this one)
I have no idea what to do anymore, please help