Whatever happened to this fella?

Broke his noggin

>>149787448
So he's a tomato now or what?

Apparently hes a shell of his former self and his family is extremely commited to keeping everything about him private. Some carpenter or whatever scumbag saw him when doing housework and told the media about how messed up he was and ever since then they all must sign NDAs

>>149787405 (OP)
Tried to turn himself into a vegetable when he found out Ralf was a batty boy.

>>149787458
Nobody knows for certain, but yeah, most likely

I saved this Youtube thumbnail

He was a piece of shit and God punished him

>>149787472
NDAs are gay.

Is that big Texan rancher Mike Shoemaker?

>>149787498
President Lula died?

>>149787405 (OP)
He got a GoPro lodged into his frontal cortex

>>149787802
So why's his wife such a psycho cunt with all the privacy shit? Is she holding him hostage?

>>149787405 (OP)
>Schumacher
>Shoemaker
>Showmaker!
DWG KIA Showmaker is Michael Schumacher?

>>149787405 (OP)
they have him planted into a pot in the living room

>>149787498
Just like Niggerton Senna then?

>>149787405 (OP)
He didn't think driving cars as fast as possible was dangerous enough so he decided to go skiing

>>149787405 (OP)
He thought there was a gap he could squeeze through and guided by his idol: >>149788178 he squeezed in, knowing that, at worst, they were going to give him a slap on the wrist (or, better yet, fine the rock). The rock, like the Tamburello wall, didn't give him enough room for the overtake.

>>149788000
It's confirmed

reminder that the average life expectancy for someone in schumacher's supposed condition is something like 2 weeks and that if you believe the official story, you are basically pozzed in the head

>>149787405 (OP)

Cryogenically frozen until there is a cure for braindeadness.

>>149787472
Why don't they just... switch him off... you know what I mean...

>>149787405 (OP)
He's paying the price for sodomy.

>>149787405 (OP)
Him and his brother.
The Fruit and the Vegetable.

Some of you are allright, don't go skiing in the swiss alps next winter

>>149787405 (OP)
He got into acting and just got cast in the upcoming live-action adaptation of Veggitales.

>>149787405 (OP)
Used a skiing accident to publicly push the narrative that he's comatose/catatonic, so that the press would leave him and his family in peace.

>>149787405 (OP)
karma

>>149787472
Is there a link to this or any proof?

>>149797050
mike schumacher here, everything anon said is true

>>149797126
based photosynthesizing Schumi

>>149797126
>mike
You mean Michael or Mick?

>>149797168
ralf

>>149797192
You wanna know what your car's worth, anon?

>>149797192
ralf's a come from behind kind of guy.

>>149797050
>Seven-time world champion Schumacher, 55, suffered a serious head injury in a December 2013 skiing accident and has not been seen in public since.

>His family have kept information about his condition a secret.

>Prosecutors allege Markus Fritsche, 53, used his trusted role within the family's security team to access photographs and videos as revenge when he discovered he was being fired earlier this year.

It is alleged Fritsche hatched a plot with his son Daniel Lins, 30, a computer expert, and a friend, nightclub bouncer Yilmaz Tozturkan, 53, to threaten to release the material onto the dark web if their ransom was not paid.
Not exactly what happened in the initial post but after this they upped the privacy restrictions regarding him even more

>>149797212
He's coming from behind to ask you if you wanna sell your car.

>>149787405 (OP)
Dead, but his family is trying to milk his corpse

>>149787405 (OP)
he fell off a cliff really fast

>>149787405 (OP)
He's still German.

>>149787839
she doesn't want her husband to be posted online like some circus freak. They all know he's basically dead, they're just seeing him out with some dignity

>>149798145
how dignified is it to be reduced to the cognitive abilities of a newborn requiring 24/7 care and support just to survive? There's no way the bloke is up walking and feeding himself. imagine being on diaper duty for a physical adult

>>149801909
>how dignified is it to be reduced to the cognitive abilities of a newborn requiring 24/7 care and support just to survive?
u tell us

>>149787405 (OP)
The guy has sponsorship deals and stuff that pay money to the family as long as he's technically alive so they're keeping his vegetable body around so they can collect paycheques. I really can't see any other reason for all the secrecy and for him to not be seen in public for decades. It's obscene.

>>149804894
This.

As with everything about Formula 1, it's all about the money.

he's almost ready