Thread 151897424

Final round of Sheffield Shield before the Ashes
England play an inter-squad 3-dayer on Thursday
NZ vs WI series continues to be a surprisingly exciting display of mediocre cricket
South Africa vs India test series starts on Friday

schorchies

CRICKET CANCELLED EDITION LMAO

Websters batting

lads... LADS...


griggy

>>151897424 (OP)
Wow they're only playing two tests in the India v South Africa series

YFO

>>151897913
and then india play a million ODIs and T20s vs South Africa, NZ and Eng
can tell where their priorities are

is test cricket really that unprofitable to the powers that b(CCI)e?

>>151898238
aus vs ind test series was sold out completely, and thats 5 days in a row at big stadiums
on the other hand, bowlers bowl 4 overs max in a t20 so their rest requirements are probably lower, leading to more games and more ticket sales

its interesting that baseball fans really want robo-umps for all decisions but this hasn't really been discussed at all for cricket
hope we don't

>>151898426
everything that requires a second look in cricket is usually already covered though
catches, borderline boundaries, runouts, LBWs can all be looked at vie the technology
robo-umps will improve baseball because ball/strike calls are too subjective between players and umps to be deemed consistent, and a lot of other plays are already reviewable anyway

>>151898579
but a lot of fans want the robo umps to just make the call, rather than a review system

>>151898665
and I think in a pure sense, that's not a silly idea
cricket isn't comparable because there aren't really judgement calls that are as significant as ball/strike, and even the ones that do exist can be challenged
baseball is quite unique in that regard, and I don't see umps ever going completely, but I can understand fans that want the consistency every pitch

I reckon i could beat about 10 guys

in what

Trust me, i can beat 10 guys

What if I was one of the guys?

bros I miss dairy so much

Lactose intolerance?
If so you can build up the tolerance again, just gotta take it slow and the first month will be torture

>test cricket is 11 days away
Gonna end it all lads, why does it feel like it starts later and later every year?

>>151900242
yeah I shat out all the enzymes that break down lactose when I had a gut virus
had an almond milk flat white today and it fucking sucked

Footy season gets longer and longer, cricket season gets shorter and shorter
Footy season is basically back in three months when that State of Origin practice match is on

Only watching India is exciting. Cunts' Rashes are blowouts

might get into umpiring

>>151901351
applied for cenno due to vision issues yet mate

>>151901390
crisp

Forming Star - Eric Hilton
found on sbs chill

>>151901476
forced mick

>>151902039
forced igg iykwim haha

>>151902039
E. Roberts: three votes

Think I might just leave this here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPfX9yvzw6A

new casio f-91w arrived today, lads

>>151902246
based Isis terrorist

>>151902205
buy an ad old timer

>>151902275
meant asis iykwim haha

>England fan’s life ban for ugly Lord’s clash with Australian team may be overturned
heh... yh ausbros we hear you and understand your feelings were hurt so we'll fully deal with the matter and make sure something so disgraceful will never happen again
jk lol

bnob family reunion

How will Britzoloids recover from this?

>>151903504
mfw they try to charge me more than £4 for fish and chips at the local tuckshop

dire on wall sesh

many such cases mate
it gets harder the older you get

you're coming out your prime mate it's over only donwhill for here on in

rorke uncle is round
he finds a way to steer literally anything to a certain topic

>>151904920
dam

know it's not quite cricket to point it out but it does seem certain man's recent dire to decent on wall seshes is around 5:1

>>151905055
it's over your free falling you slipped

>>151901522
cri'
>>151901476
>>151902039
>>151902144
'sp

>>151905315
GOTTEM

>>151904299
keekjjjKkjo NOO NOOO NONKOK
keisp

>>151905424
t.42

ashes is so close, might start drinking for it

>>151903268
I wouldn't care if he was unbanned
it was just a heated moment
no doubt if the tables were turned some member at the SCG wouldve slung some abuse

>>151905632
sebshitbros....
shitjeetbros....
quick! let's make some nonce comment as our brilliant reposte!

wait - england are bringing a spinner who can't even get a game for his county team?

how come the aus team are so old though? is there no new talent in shield (except the gen z greek lad who got dropped)

*poooooof* >>151905894
GOTTEM
gone liek a fart in the wind

They should introduce double plays to T20

https://youtu.be/F1COi6FEp2I
me¿ jus want the English SQUISHED like the worms they are
plain x

>>151904920
>prime mate
Das racist

>>151906490
keKkkkkkk
https://youtu.be/O8DB60Wj9Cg

>>151901390
I posted this for you sebbo

showed a picture of mark wood to my barber yesterday

>The final frontier: Why has Root never made a century down under?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c5ypdy02pk5o

Kek engshitters already getting their excuses in for the great fraud

>>151906903
tried clicking a few bbc links and it's always this

>>151906946
It's for the best, considering the beeb commies been caught redhanded doctoring videos. Hypocrisy is a very engshitter trait

>>151906946
working for me

blud is using microsoft edge lmao

>>151906745
tabla x

using anything other than firefox or a firefox fork is the sure sign of a dimwit
i can let brave users slide too

isnt brave chromium-based

me¿ lynx
simple as x

>they made spinal tap ii
Gonna have to watch. Ynr remember the cricket bat scene

>>151907260
based, what OS you rocking fella

>>151907306
irix ofc x

Yjk bnob uses windows and a browser without adblock because he's a dumb cunt

>>151907101
i use 3 different browsers
edge is non vpn split threaded and normie shit

when do the ashes begin

been going since 1882 mate

>>151908013
the third and final game of the ashes was played last weekend
aus won the series 3-0

1-3 kfc
4-6 kebab
7-9 fish and chips
0 or Dubs cook myself steak and eggs

there is literally test cricket on TODAY

>>151908213
condolences

>>151908213
congratulations

>>151908213
Lucky boy

>>151908213
it's unfortunate that you got the worst one

fish and chips is overrated
easily worst on the list

>>151908732
i have a suggestion for you lad
move somewhere that has good fish and chips
sounds like you've never experienced it before

>>151908732
Well technically it would have been my usual go to fisherman's basket. One of the best I've had

reckon you should go somewhere that has good potàto scallops champ

>>151907187
depends what kind of firefox because most recent firefoxes are derived from chrome

battered fish is easily worst form of fish
potato scallops are good but a solid hashbrown mogs it
battered hotdogs unironically the only good thing

Good afternoon alf

>>151909421
Deadset retard
Going to get fish and chips tonight to spite you

>potato scallops
>hashbrown
literally the same thing
want me to fry up some potato
pancakes for you? some latekes?
>battered hotdogs
just pluto pups without the stick innit lad

>>151909782
fuck meant latkes

belated hangover had started that had me off the idea of leaving the house. Found some waffle fries that soaked the yoke and meat juice nicely. 4 different berries, mango and coconut water smoothie

>>151910175
That's a lot of Truffle Butter

>>151909421
Sorry m8
Chiko Rolls are the supreme fish and chips choice, alongside some calamari

turns out the best fish and chips item is actually a samosa which I assume is from samoa

>>151908732
fuck you cunt

>>151910985
Exceptional post. Going to get some myself

exillerating round of sheffield shield tbqh

>>151911674
smoth or marnus m8? or megawall?

>>151912198
Greens bowling absolute rockets
Webster fivefer
Smudge on 48* but looking a class above
Marnus still early in his innings but looking solid
Carey got a decent half century
Boland was 1-8 off 9 before a couple edgy fours

Everyone fighting hard for their spot in the ashes team

>>151912410
nice
just switched on the qld v tas match and saw green bowling a bit
criticism for the aussie team being dad's army but looks like goodish form of late for most

>>151912526
*qld v wa

fuck the first fly of summer just entered my apartment

wish the first aahes test was on this waca pitch

That reminds, there people who post inn/cric/ who have never seen an Ashes match played at the WACA let alone a normal test match
I fucking miss WACA test matches

zachy for one
but you could say that about lord's as well

Gabba/Sydney/Manuka/Bellreive for the first 2
WACA
MCG
Adelaide (d/n)
This should be the order for the Test matches in Australia with the first 2 being toss ups based on opposition we play
If India are playing we should force them to play all 5 at the WACA for all the cowardice they showed trying to not play there in the past

>>151912837
redid the flyscreen on the balcony last Sunday for this reason

mumza chucks scraps right outside the back door and you can't open it without a dozen getting in then complains about all the flies inside

enchiladas for lunch

another 50 for marnus

this summer could be his magnum opus
hope he gets to bat num 3
also you did that

>also you did that
needs to save some of that for the ashes

Aussie bowlers not looking great in the NSW game

Test cricket on

starc was swinging it around corners yesterday

They're getting dominated by Peter handscomb and co lol

No way it's not 5-0.

test cricket is literally happening as we speak

>named handsCOMB
>is bald

anyone else drinking beer RIGHT NOW?

>Ireland vs Bangladesh
Why is this allowed? Neither of them should have test status

I unironically reckon Joe Root will score his first Aussie ton this summer

>>151914474
I do love seeing the Irish names though
>Cade Carmichael
If Cade Carmichael was a bike, he'd Cade Bikemichael.

webster backing up his fivefer with a big score would make things really interesting for the selectors

>>151914481
i wouldn't mind poot getting a parting cenno as long as the new kid brook gets exposed

i apologise slug

>>151914474
>tf

frustrating that i cant get them all on one screen without black bars

>>151914544
this is the sole reason you should appreciate Bangladeshi cricket
the fact that they stream all their home games for free on youtube is massive and other countries should do so as well

I wonder what they get from YouTube ads
15k watching right now

some absolute doctoring on that bangla review

>>151914569
id say it hit the glove sweat strap (which would have been out as well) but the ball hitting the bat with what looked like ambience noise was a bit of a stretch

>>151914535
the shield megawall on cricket.com.au has all the active shield games in one feed

>>151914587
unfortunately designed for a horizontal monitor

>>151914599
you are not gonna believe it, but there is quite an easy solution to this

>>151908732
lifeboat, Scarborough would change your mind

>watching this youtube video about relationship scammer
>mentions one of the women's dad supposedly dying overseas
>https://youtu.be/t2C3AU9NDWQ?t=1831
is this nasser hussein?

>>151914675
kek is this some guy just spending 35mins arguing that the woman is a retard?

>>151914680
a guy commenting on a current affair story about cat ladies seething that a scammer redeemed

good god what was that noise in the WACA coverage

Renshaw didn't play too bad against India. Must be feeling a little unlucky right now.

>>151914703
i would've picked him over weatherald, but i suspect either would've been a backup and marnus or somebody will open

>>151914729
Marnie opening would make me quite angry
Unless he does well and then I'd call for Usman to be dropped for Weatherald

Greens obviously bowled his 8 overs for the day

wonder if irelands spinners are any good

you guys see that news recently about people running a ton of different uber eats restaurants from one kitchen?

eating poo

I'm not fat enough the subscribe to ubereats news updates, and I'm pretty fucking fat

>>151915236
based fat traditionalist

fucking off back up north

he's a lucky man

gottem

after watching the shield for the last few weeks, i can confidently say we are winning the ashes 5-0

>>151915184
haven't seen news about it but have noticed 4 restaurants operate from the same address which isn't in a shopping centre and a few of them share the same loyalty program

saw this "Mc'Cafe" operating inside a mcdonalds once. suss af

was obviously talking about joints that were trying to look differently obviously champ

all illusion of choice innit. got to have a BWS and a Dan's, even 100m apart. wouldn't bat an eye at every hospitality groups owning 50 pubs and all get their orders from the same distributors. and if you champ me again I will set your jaw on a course for the pleiades

>>151915924
commercial kitchens, what do you expect? you think food trucks are doing their prep in some hipster fuck caravan while they wear suspenders?

back to the nang gaff

who tf said this toothpick armed neek I mentally cooked could post on a weekday? back in your box toothpicky, you post when I say you can (Fri-Sun only)

no idea what you're on about blubs, you bingo winged neek

>>151916052
>implying food trucks have the space to run more than one restaurant out of the same 102 metre space
aplied for a new brain scarecrow yet mate

>>151916154
meant 10 squared metre but the keyboard fucked up

In Donedon

>>151916154
forest for the trees midwit. explain the moral crisis you see in more than one business operating out of a single kitchen? worse somehow than one business working out of multiple kitchens?
https://norwoodcommercialkitchen.com.au/

helo

Just tried pickleball , good workout , whacked myself on the shin with the bat though

the bowens love their reddit trends don't they
specifically the cross fit of gen z and the the tennis of gen alpha

At the end of the game, the king and pawn return to the same box

>>151916390
that's actually padel. Both absolutely dire, but pickleball is the lesser of the two evils honestly

Xi looks amazingly /fa/ in that grey suit desu
wonder if I could get away with wearing one around here

scene with him in the car is kino
wish I was Chinese

Go home chang.

ausjeet is shaking

Xi? if he played crcicket he'd be XI iykwim haha

Xi? if he played cricket he'd be XI iykwim haha

sick of LNER and their airline LARP
they even dress up like air stewards

who cares about their le spelling errors on an annoymoose forum at 1am

t. never joined the mile high club with a flight stewardess

who cares empugh to take a screencap

you fell into my trap card, took the bait and thought that was a good reply, enjoy your night, 4chan isn't for everyone

who cares enough to take a screencap

landed on the drab t-shirt/overshirt, black jeans combo I will be wearing until I die and am buried in.

sounds hot to go to a test cricket match to but hey cosplaying as a muslim woman isn't for everyone you do you

hope dubov beats that turbo neek pragg in the chess

yes this shirt looks fine, however you have put in on sub-saharan cannibal rapist escapee instead of a normal, traditionally attractive clothes horse so I won't be buying it.

I am a hideous human being, without a conscience, uncaring, couldn't give a damn about anybody

>>151917192
>iykwim haha

Is Zachary the only white male name beginning with the letter Z?

>>151917405
Zachariah

he's welsh (black)

think shilajit is a mild anti-depressant, for me

shilling jeets would have the opposite effect on me haha

dubov choked it last game against the brown neek, grim

think will smithlajit id a mild-m anti-depressant for me iykwim haha

was meant to meet my 95 year old grandfather for a game of snooker today but signalling faults meant I couldn't get there at a convenient time for him
Not been a good few weeks for the railway

I don't want to talk to the foreigner's. Why'd you guys allow them to stay?

*makes sixhead twiglet legs seethe with his chess rizz*
Would batter you on court and on pitch

didn't get stabbed

I would absolutely demolish you at tennis you Indian neek

You asked to name a time and place, i literally named the time and place and you scurried away to your mummy's little bedsit. Couldn't even man up for a little kickabout either twiglet legs

absolute bollocks did you

I need a fine english rose in my life

Literally said come to ol' 128kbps yt2mp3's old place where he would've got sporting trauma. You can try again this weekend if you like i could do with the warm down after my match

Cmon Zachy surely an inventive man such as yourself can conjure up a new poosona rather than just wheeling out the tired old britjeet bullshit and talking to yourself all night long whilst drinking.

>>151918270
this
grire stuff

see little reason to go Leicester but could go to serve up some bacon and eggs I guess

6-0 6-1

*shire
>could
But won't
>>151918174
>me vs sixhead's feeble 2HB

Ive played with a single-hander since about the age of 16
I would shit on you at tennis to be honest

can you lads agree on anything

geese- cobra live radio 1 thing is nangy

mental how bard thought he could just get away with being a neek his whole life and nobody would ever call him out for it, just shows what a narcissist he is

a narcissistic neek, as it were

Britzoloids are genuinely the worst

FNO mate

>>151919759
reminder a v2 in Sheffield is unironically a v15 in your dead, fatty empire

Sharia controlled hours.

>151919759
feel free to stop watching our sports anytime then
&
>>151905632

least we can pronounce the names of our mercenaries
Australians are so thick marnus had to change his surname

how do you pronounce carse?

What's he up to?

will there be rainbow stumps at the ashes this year?

>>151920069
clubbing

ausjeeta, my queen

should i go to the NSW vs Vic match today lads?

>>151920294
yes and get drunk and make a nuisance of yourself

>>151917704
>snooker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2g6D6Ki_-Y

>>151920294
I shouldve gone yesterday. reckon they might chuck me on tv if I sat there and thumbed my laptop at the game
Flying to NZ today so wont see ya there unfortunately

>>151920159
i know i shouldn't, but i would iykwim haha

>>151905632
>this mortally wounds the shitjeet
btfo him so bad he's just been repeating his nonce fantasies 24/7 since

Got the Britzos absolutely boiling

I don't feel good bros...

I think its a good thing that governments are cracking down on children being able to read zachys posts

Based Abbott

the internet we know will be dead within 2 years
ai and govt control will kill it
small online communities is probably the only way to experience the legacy internet

Hazlewood bros it is not looking good

shield cricket must be a bit shit now if the last big talent to come out of it was Boland (like 5 years back)
looks like BBL contributes all their players now

my family was one of the only ones around our circle that had early dial-up internet and all the normies hated on it and us
then they all inevitably jumped on board an turned into the normie infested nanny hub that it already is and is increasingly becoming

>>151921437
most high profile players play all forms
it would be a rare breed to only come through sheffield shield, especially considering how low in priority cricket australia treats it

>>151921091
>british blog posting in /cric/ will no longer be a thing
Surely this is a dream

>>151921437
A lot more young guys in the shield this year, bbl is the retirement home

>>151921376
He's bowling well

If green doesn’t make runs it is over for that maggot, I’ll never forgive him for what he did to me at highschool

Umpire is retarded

what fucking game are you guys watching

ti4 hub innit lad
i want to go back

>>151922394
tas vs sa

>>151922394
ass vs gáàs

>>151920973
based
keep 'em cookin'

hazlewood and abbott being assessed for hamstring injuries

>>151922394
NSW hamstrings vs Vic

I prefer my ham with the string cut off it to be perfectly honest with you lads

played golf today

how'd you hit it today

pretty good, played to handicap (can't usually manage that)

Is Ben maneti or will Sutherland the next all-rounder into the Australian team?

>>151923760
manenti maybe

This NSW side is so pathetic, have half the Aussie team and still getting smashed

australias first test lineup according to me

Usman Koala
Jake Weatherald
Marnus leboshane
Steve Smith
Travis Head
Beau Webster
Alex Carey
Sean Abbot
Mitch Starc
Nathan Lyon
Scott Boland

>>151924104
Test 1 day 4, England need 80 runs with 10 wickets in hand, does smudge bring out the sandpaper?

>>151923362
will do
tabla x

>>151924232
just need to evolve tactics
what if a dripper (let's say marnus) just had his hand in his pocket edging all day and shined half the ball with the precum patch at the front of his pants?

after 80 overs, you could really give the batsman a perfume ball

>>151923690
Based golf cheat

>>151924419
that's gold

>>151924474
this might just work

Back in India (Kerala)
Last few days before returning to blighty
Will likely just eat curry and relax

Played a round of golf at Kochi Airport yesterday because I had some time to kill and they have a course right by the runways
Was literally the only person playing on the entire course, but there were 50+ (presumably) poverty-stricken Indians tending to the course or just sleeping in the midday heat
Felt like the good old colonial times again

Shot 29 over, which isn't bad seeing as I'm shit at golf and haven't picked up any clubs in two years, but I will admit there was occasionally some liberal use of the mulligan (would probably have been my handicap of 36)

Smudge is on. Marnie is on. That should be enough.

>>151925278
you have a couple golfslaves following you around the course? usually they give you one or two to tend to your divots and give you course advice

Sri Lankans are much cooler than Indians, overall
Not sure why it is exactly, but Indians seem much more try-hard and insecure
But Sri Lankans either have the cool surfer vibe or the relaxed portly countryside slow pace of life vibe, much more chill

>>151925316
ive always said this

>>151925307
Nah the natives had become indolent in the midday heat and didn't really interact with me at all for the most part

Some of them complimented my strokeplay - I assume they were just being polite, unless the average Indian golfer at the course is even more abysmal than me

But most were too lazy to move even when they were in the way of my shots, gave up shouting at them to move and started just hitting towards them instead (in fairness, maybe they'd seen some of my previous shots, and decided there was very little risk)

bindia is the worst country in asia, everyone did warn you tbf. would've been more kino going Afghanistan

>>151925340
this is true
>>151925329
you have bharatbelly since that first episode?

>>151925340
I've enjoyed India, thoughbeit I did prefer both Nepal and Sri Lanka
In fairness, most of my time in India was in the Golden Triangle of the north where it's well known that there's more scams and the places are dirtier etc, so possibly I'd have a different view if I'd spent longer in south India
See if the Keralans can boost India's rating, there's more Christians here (there's a nice few Keralan families at my (Catholic) church back home), so that's surely got to count for something

nigga think he david livingston or sum shit fr

>>151925353
Nah, just once, I've been more or less fine since then
Have become much more attuned to the need to wash hands or use sanitiser after shaking hands with locals (which happens to me relatively often, due to being a humble man of the people)

found bard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WsPZC1-TLo

slop's on fellas

>>151925362
Have noticed a bit of a trend for right-wing grifters to shit on India recently (if you'll pardon the pun), no doubt because the population is massive and nationalistic, so it's very effective ragebait and easy to make money from

Generally not in favour of it, can't just generalise a country of a billion plus people, at least without going to see it for yourself

But Indians really don't help themselves with things like this, won't ever be considered a modern or civilised country unless they learn not to have festivals where they throw shit at each other (Britishers would have stamped this out by 1948 btw)

theres more indians in India than white people (combined) in the entire world

I don't have to go to india to generalise about indians there's enough of them here to do that

Lets be real here if england have ANY chance of winning this ashes series they simply must win the first test when some senior aussies are out
it is a MUST WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>I've enjoyed India
sunk costs cope

really hoping they do play wood and archer for the perth test purely because I'll be there to watch it

they hardly ever play
bit unreasonable for >our selectors to expect them to run through team just because muh pace

>>151925570
get up lilac hill tomorrow mate its england vs england

is optus stadium or whatever they use now even that pacey? when it is, overseas teams usually just get excited and bowl too short

>>151925588
if I can get away from toil I might, it's where my work mate's club is and he's pretty excited to be playing so close to where they're camped out

hey bard, Indians threw shit out of their country in 1947....twice...eyequeem..hahahaaaaaaa... alri

>>151925588
>lilac hill
crisp location

>>151925554
Not at all
Enjoyed lots of great curries
Tiger safari was fun, as was cricket match, Taj Mahal and Amber Fort were ok

>>151925612
Decolonising simply hasn't worked for India, nor any other country for that matter
The British civil service are the true masters of statecraft and administration, and may (Catholic) God help anybody who chooses not to benefit from their expertise

literally just sex tourism going on here
a pasty unfuckable bong stooping to picking up toothless thirdies

>>151925653
>>>/tv/215871116

>>151924938
lembas x

>>151925316
I've always said this too
The Sir Lankans are lovely people (overall) and their girls are better looking (overall)

>>151925316
Very much like how kiwis are cooler than Aussies. India/Australia are obsessed with being one of the big countries

>>151925768
>India/Australia are obsessed with being one of the big countries
kek this is so very true

>stereotyped as bad motherfuckers ripping out hearts with their hands
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
>stereotyped as benevolent gurus with the fount of all knowledge and the key to happiness
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
>stereotyped as key industry figures in the local community
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
>okay, well you smell and donn't seem to have a moral code
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

kwabob (kek what a bunch of benchods)

>>151925768
>>151925770
>Very much like how kiwis are cooler than Aussies
come on lads

If I had a kiwi foid gf 50% of the relationship would be me abusing/mocking her accent

>>151925777
I was more referring to Australia being USA lite more than anything tbphwyl

>>151925784
and she'd love it

Ef e hed e kewe foid gf 50% ef the reletionshep would be me ebusing/mockeng her eccent

>>151925791
keKkkk
GOTTEM

>>151925784
you should shoot Tiffany Salmond a dm

Salmond Rushdie

Tuffiny Silmind

if she were posh twat she'd be Toffiny Salmond iykwim haha

I aim to look like this one day

more like salman oneeye

does non-ashes cricket actually have some sort of purpose?

>>151925925
the lad needs to get his suit dry cleaned by the looks of it

>>151925937
Yeah as warm ups for the ashes. We're fluffers

>>151925925
Elite levels of smug

>>151925925
wasn't he in a curb episode telling larry women love the fatwa?

<watching the bbl

big brown log?

might as well be, theres been about 15 dropped catches

is gastrostop a PED? cannot imagine the amount flowing through the ireish rn

>Unmasked, the most prolific sex offender in British history who raped HUNDREDS of boys in paedophile ring 'involving a magistrate and police officer'- at borstal where abuse of 2,000 victims was covered up
c*tholicks once again showing they're all pedophiles no wonder bnob and 128kbps turned out like they did

>>151926436
Is his name george

India is a creation of the British. They should've Balkanized it on ethnic lines instead.

>>151925653
Simply not that attracted to non-whites so sex tourism isn't my tempo at all

>>151928836
Have to agree desu

Give the Sikhs their Khalistan, let the Buddhists live in the mountains, push the Muzzies over to Pakistan, let the Goa-Kerala stretch be Christian, and then the rest can be greater Hindustan

how would you know you've never even BEEN to india

any retardmen in?

yeah me

>tell national body that you dont feel safe in an extremist country
>national body tells you to stay

bit like being a tragie and telling the boss you don't want to get on the roof without safety gear

Op Sindoor 2.0 is on the cards

https://youtu.be/Ggy6jDzKnT8?si=WGraB8OBhq-YBl3U
https://youtu.be/Ggy6jDzKnT8?si=WGraB8OBhq-YBl3U
https://youtu.be/Ggy6jDzKnT8?si=WGraB8OBhq-YBl3U

Back from my on pitch sesh, 5G + 1A in a 6-6 draw from 6-2 down. Actually started on team A and went 3-0 up (1G +1A for them too) but the teams were unbalanced so switched over to B. Me and the former academy player were on a different footy plane it was insane. 4 down with 10-15 min left and i pulled it out of the bag the way bnob and 128kbps' mams should've kept their skank legs shut like the skank ho """virgin""" mary should've. Will be describing my goals and you will be reading about it.

Open challenge to you /cric/ shitters, dare you to play against me on pitch. You'll be humiliated.

>>151930465
meet me at moore park in 15mins champ

fuck forgot im in nz

Goal 1 2-3
Through ball to the left edge of the box. Sensed the keeper rushing out so took a chance and deceived him thinking i'd cut inside onto my right but passed it left footed into the far post before he could set himself

Goal 2 3-6
Goal of the night. Academy lad bustling through, me hanging the line inside left. He times the pass right i'm through. Touch brings me inside to cut off their defender but a bit close to the onrushing keeper. Sit him down with a feint and scoop finish over him. Cheeky but beautiful finish /cric/ shitters could never

Goal 3 4-6
Similar to 1 and 2 except this time i did come onto my right foot and curled it far corner

Goal 4 5-6
Academy lad tried a blooter. Keeper saves it i poke in the rebound from the right edge. Predatory finish like bnob's dad

3 minutes left
GOLDEN MISSED CHANCE. Take on the defender to the right. Feign to shoot and cut back onto my left, defenders gona sailing i'm clean through, stretch to shoot on my left but it's too central keeper saves it

Goal 5 6-6
1-2 with academy lad he shimmys left and shoots, deflects off the defender right into my path on the left edge of the box... first time curled finish into the far corner like certain Pinturicchio in the 2006 WC SF. Humble fist pump

checked if there's any cric on today and it turns out - no, no there is not.

>>151930573
Book your flights champ, all the /cric/ engshitters are too pussy

Little wheelchair bound faggot bnob too scared to post when someone talks about playing sport but still cries to janny

what does that even mean

konstas first class average barely over 30 now
without that hundred in each innings early on (which lead to the call-up), he would just be another unknown young shield shitter

You could open with a koala and a stingray it's not going to matter against these pathetic engshitters
>Cheteshwar Pujara has more series victories against convicts then engshitters have had away test wins in 40 years
Fucking howling

>Poostralia running headlines about Joe Root with the headline of 'Average Joe'
>Joe Root has scored more runs than any Australian - living or dead - ever
Grim 'banter'.

>>151931651
why cant he score runs in australia?

>>151931471
>if you ignore all his runs, he hasn't made many runs

>>151931675
Not really the point.

Root is a bit of an allrounder really
his bowling record in Aus is probably respectable at least

>>151931651
See >>151931615
>Pujara won b2b test series Down Under
>engshitters haven't don't this in nearly 100 years
Lmao

Poot is a fraud. Spent most of his life hiding down at #5 behind KP was too scared to even bat at #4 let alone #3. Will never be considered a great

Marnie will outscore Root this Ashes

>>151931615
Have England ever whitewashed Australia? Even in England?

Australia is FUCKED lmao

>>151931692
yes it is because the average joe headlines refer to his form down under.

>>151931712
you sure buddy? his econ rate is alright i guess

All the draft prospects this year have stupid names

NEW THIS ONE AUTOSAGGIED
>>151932317

this windies series has been exillerating

>>151932145
You have to travel back in time to 1886 and it was a 3 test series kek. The 5-0 convictwashes of 06/07 and 13/14 a distinguished achievement among the domination of the cunt rAshes

>>151932194
Bashit makes him look like prime Bhajji
>>151932706
The only time subhuman engshitters can say they had the better of it was 77-81 - presumably that was the Packer Era
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ashes_series
>>151932756
>nightwatchman at #3
Brave abd stunning

par score here?

>>151932802
Assume you're talking golf 'cause there's no cricket on
72? (just a guess, playing the odds as the majority of courses are par 72)

the girls in dunedin need to see some sunlight

Thoughts?

Bangladesh looking to absolute stomp Ireland here

>>151933582
what format is this? not sure half these nations are test playing nations

>>151933582
>ivory coast
based

>>151933653
cant remember
saved from twitter at some point and cant remember what the caption was to this
just thought it would be a decent /cric/ post for a laugh

Bangladesh bros, Ireland are taking our wickets quite easily

>>151933739
kek
guarantee whoever made it thought that was Ireland

based western australia declaring on less than queensland

they're last on the ladder and need a result
a draw plus majority bonus points isn't too bad for qld

Off to containers for change tomorrow lads

based alco, I used to buy the same cheap whisky when I was a pisshead

out of beer, drinking water, will buy more beer tomorrow

>>151935137
>low carb beer
nice one, these healthier options will pay dividends in the future, proud of you for making the change.

>>151935137
based Michael Hussey

>>151935161
Yeah it's ok, i love rum a bit too much so when i want to ease off i go the 1495 or grants if on special as it's nowhere near as easy to drink

>>151935185
Thanks mate I'm tryin

Marnus you flog

1 week till the ashes absolutely mad that

>>151935275
womens or mens?

>lilac hill
bit poofy this

>stokes has 4
uhhhhh ausbros.......

>1 week until dagor dagorath
MENTZ
E
N
T
Z

>>151935423
This will be re-posted multiple times this ashes series by me when joe root smashes the pozzies for 6

>>151897523
crisp

tf is rodney hogg and why isn't he working in the gay adult entertainment industry with that name.

how do we save west indian cricket lads

Before poot
>engshitters finally win 3-1
Since poot
>5-0 convictwashed
>4-0
>4-0
Kek he hasn't even won a test down under. Pujara has two series victories

>>151935486
prob needs colonisation again

>>151935423
>>151935438
reckon they shouldnt be saying this
why point out their weakness prior to the series
definitely betting on Root getting his first Aussie century this series

>>151935436
6 is a few short of a hundred

>>151935506
He'll shit the bed and when the series is lost he might statpad one in a dead rubber

ashes?¿
moar liek ARSES aaammmooooiiitritee¿? ya¿¡

>>151935536
kek QUEEM

>>151935423
whos Rodney Hogg?

>>151921091
today's the day lads. the end of a decade, look after this place
it's been real

you wont be missed

I doubt we will see much difference considering how well versed you all are in using VPNs.

puking my fucking guts out lads. jesus

>>151935653
>>151935689
the duality of man

>>151935641
soon time for us all to become normies

>>151935689
Safe & Effective.™

>Wood sent for scan after hamstring stiffness in Ashes warm-up
grim

Usman
Weatherald
Marnus
Smith
Green
Webster
the rest

yes, im dropping head for green

>>151935799
haven't even heard of half these pricks

It's time to stop working lads. There's no pussy for you. No future. You'll always be stuck in your miserable job earning low pay. There will never be any progression. You'll never be independent. You just don't get it, do you? Stop caring about having money. By not working, you can claim disability for mental health and enjoy your free time. You can't put a price on your wellbeing.

>>151935694
second lad was puking from reading bongflag posts

If I didn't have a job I'd kill myself

>yes, im dropping head for green
imagine being this much of a pothead

Never had a job, personally

>>151935819
couple more months to look steven

WHERE IS THE FUCKING CRICKET WHO SCHEUDLED THIS SHIT REEE

poos

>>151935340
make that 6....

>>151935840
sorry mate we'll start the ashes right now just for you

>>151935840
India test starts tomorrow

feel like pure shit just want him back

Lions full of literal whos who are making Stokes look like Malcolm Marshall
bench strength looking just a little grire

couple clips from the eng warm up here
https://nitter.poast.org/GeorgeDobell1/media

cricket
ford falcon
mid strength beer
powderfinger

>>151935881
you arent involved cuzzie. please dont show yourself next week. not welcome.

>powderfinger
pozztralians don't do themselves any favours countering the memes about no good musicians and standups desu

cricket
weed vape
bundaberg original
kanye west

cruckit
wid vup
bindabug iruginul
kinyu wust

>standups
lmao, pls kill yourself

>>151935973
done him

>>151935976
not my best work desu havent logged on for about a year. rehearsing for next week. cheers mate

BASHIR IS PLAYING
>BASHIR IS PLAYING

feel that >we're quite open about the scarcity of musical talent from here, nothing wrong with a bit of 'finger tho; Internationalist doesn't have a bad song on it.

>>151935999
>nothing wrong with a bit of 'finger tho
ur mum said the same thing to me last night lol

>>151936002
Kek

>>151936003
if you've got her ear, I'd like an explanation as to why she fed the 1/2kg of salmon I'd given her to cook up to the cats last night because I was fuming this afternoon

>>151936023
i told her it smelled like her pussy she was probably embarrassed

Does letting your b team score nearly 400 runs show good form?

>>151935960
going to make sure i'm here every day of every test, just to say hi to you

>>151936030
hard to judge until both teams have batspersoned

>>151936035
peace and love brother

i didnt listen to my own post after last ashes :(

>>151936101
my life has gotten worse since then :)

>>151936101
activated energetic healing since then
in the process of a gradual factory reset on the body

Is anybody in the mood to read 4,632 words of "theatre" (intended to be read moreso than played)?

how does that size up compared to say medea

>>151936225
It's 15 pages compared to the ~60 odd of a typical Greek drama, with a similar amount of lines/page. Admittedly a lot of its word count is "stage directions", so it's almost as much a prose piece as it is a play of any sort (thus the """", and "()")

Potts bazzing his way into the 1st test team - confirmed if he picks up a few wickets as well now

>>151936260
I've read excerpts when you've posted before, getting it to a stage where you're happy with it then?

>>151936284
>getting it to a stage where you're happy with it then?
No, but this one particular line doth amuse me greatly -- as in a chimpanzee being given a banana greatly ("Sophie" is 4 years old)
-- I do very much enjoy writing it, however. Here is the whole thing if you're interested: https://files catbox moe/8ux0vk.pdf

nightmarish scenario

imagine if it were bowen

what I don't get is if you call someone a 'neek' do you need an adjective or expletive otherwise it sounds like 'unique'?

>pozzies in charge of understanding context
not renowned for their iq are they

evens get on the tequila
odds go to bed

I'm unique? like how? explain it to me, you think I'm one of a kind? you think I'm a curiosty?

for me, it's calling the Indian 'a poo'. bit cheeky that

>england getting battered by england lions
ffs lads this is not a great look

imagine if his first name was jack haha

>>151936594
lilac hill is a very docile wicket t. that workmate, he headed there after toil so interested to hear about it tomorrow, and see what the england XI proper post up

fiending for some sake rn

>>151936101
kek

ran out of beer

good
teetotal general

i dont like tea

New
>>151937133

we're only at 498

>>151937197
oh no

>James Anderson extends Lancashire career into 26th year
>Veteran fast bowler will continue playing county cricket at the age of 44, after successful summer
old manderson shill wants him on the ashes tour no doubt

baked the actual new
>>151937225
>>151937225
>>151937225