>dm mutters something and rolls behind his cover
>chuckles ominously

>dm

>>96139491
D&D is the only real TTRPG. Everything else is cope. Simple as.

>Aedile chuckles and unzips his gimp mask and asks what our character's anal circumferences are again

>>96139431 (OP)
I used to do that randomly just to tweak the players, but honestly it got boring pretty fast.

I bought a little velvet mat for when I actually wanted to roll stuff like that, since it made the dice not have a sound.

>>96139431 (OP)
>>dm mutters something and rolls behind his cover
>>chuckles ominously
>doesnt even look at the dice and forces on us whatever bullshit he decided on a second ago.
WHY ROLL A DICE IF YOU ARNT EVEN GOING TO USE IT, YOU RAILROADING COCKWOMBLE!

>GM starts to explain how stealth works
>you don't see anything trying to hide

>>96139431 (OP)
We do that just to fuck with you.

>>96139431 (OP)
>gm frequently rolls behind the screen and chuckles
>actually just rolls to fuck with the players and never let’s the secret dice decide anything

>>96143748
If it is, then why does everyone have wildly different experiences with it?
In case you don't understand, this is a rhetorical question.
The "game" that its first progenitors played isn't the same "game" that's being played today, and every table playing the "game" is having different experiences from each other.

"Is" is a state of being, and the state of being D&D manifests as isn't the same across all of its instances of use.
How can it be called a game when there is no consistency with it whatsoever?

>DM tells us to roll perception
>we all roll terribly
>nothing unexpected happens for the rest of the session

>>96139431 (OP)

>Player gets a GF
>He says she wants to play
>She looks like she wants to chew her leg off and escape the whole time. Only came to further monopolize his time.
>Player is too Aspergian to realize that she's going to manufacture some drama to separate him from the game

Lost a few campaigns this way.

>>96148962
>Hey, Ashley, just wanted to chat really quick. It doesn’t really seem like you’re enjoying yourself in the game. You know Brian talked about you a lot before you were actually at the sessions, right? Guy’s crazy about you. But the truth is that no couple does EVERYTHING together and it’s healthy to have some hobbies that you don’t share. If you are enjoying yourself and I just can’t read you, great! Keep on coming. But don’t feel like it’s an obligation you have to meet, and don’t think that it’s somehow going to make the two of you closer.
>Oh, and, for the record, all the successful couples I’ve seen that game together? They absolutely love dicking each other over in character because they know it’s just a game. If you’re having a good time but feel awkward because you aren’t sure where the boundaries on PC behavior are, you can always have your character antagonize or play off of his, since you know what he thinks of you outside of the game. That can be a great way to dip your toe in the water for more adversarial scenes.
I’ve had a decent amount of success in pulling girlfriends aside and having the chat with them. Sometimes they cut loose from the game and the boyfriends keep coming without them, sometimes they get more comfortable and into it. But bridging the gap either way is far more constructive than just sitting there grimacing over what you think is going to happen.

>>96139431 (OP)
>Friend Computer's Intimate Associate raises an eyebrow and rolls a single die behind the Wall of Fear and Ignorance
>doesn't even pretend to look at it
>passes a note to every player with a sadistic grin on his face

>>96139431 (OP)
>dm has neutral expression
>remains neutral
>looks at me neutrally

click one of these every once in a while, your players will shit their pants