If you were to choose one useless superpower, what would it be?
I define useless in this context as something that would not help on a hero's journey. That would not help you get ahead in life or closer to your life goals. You can also interpret it as a "vanity power", glamor but no real functionality.
It's not that the power can't be useful, it's just that it can't be useful in a way that matters. Consider the ability to never have your clothing wrinkle, or for all the beers you drink to be ice cold. Your personal life trajectory should not change after gaining this power, your life story should stay mostly the same. You are also free to add conditions to a power that would render it useless, such as becoming invisible only when nobody is looking. That's the general gist of the rules.

If you could, what would you choose?

If all I get to choose is something that doesn't matter I don't care to choose at all.

>>96177341
Have you no imagination, my friend? Is there nothing that would brighten your day a bit even if it does not cast the clouds away?

>>96177221 (OP)
The useless power of punching spamming faggots across the net. Without my input, automatically, so I don't get the satisfaction, but fags like you still get punched

>>96177412
Tpbp

>>96177387
I have imagination, but I have no need for anything useless. A useless thing does not change my circumstances, so why would I ever literally sign away my fucking soul to have no change in my life?
You're not very good at this shit, despite being a supernatural demon with a few thousand years of experience. Like, for real, I cannot imagine being THAT fucking stupid and inept that I didn't even manage to tempt a frail, sinful mortal even a little bit. You've had thousands of years to work on those skills.
Fucking clown. You were thrown out of heaven because you were so fucking embarrassing to be around.

Your worst sin is literally that sufficiently advanced incompetent is indistinguishable from malice.

>>96177412
Well this isn't the /tg/ I remember from 10 years ago, what happened here fellas?
No need to boo me off stage, I'll get my coat.

>>96177387
>that would brighten your day
That sounds like a meaningful use.

>>96177221 (OP)
I can replay old shows and movies I have watched for free.

>>96177387
You have no imagination for how much meaning can be found even in the meaningless things.

>>96177221 (OP)
Headphones that never get lost or tangled up/out of battery.

>>96177221 (OP)
A jacket that I can't lose or give away that if I open to the inside (as if selling shady merch) offers a variety of Bar Taps of various tasty and high quality beers. If I let someone huddle under my jacket with me we are transported into a comfy but perfectly normal pub that aside from giving free drinks and bar snacks is not good for much else. There are other regulars (who have their own jackets) and when you leave you exit a door near where you entered the jacket (which is a one way exit from the pub).

>>96177221 (OP)
Insect control

>>96177221 (OP)
The ability to manifest any minor item when it's completely unnecessary except for convenience. Like, summon a burning match when I want to light a pipe (doesn't work when I want to light a lantern at night or start a fire on the trail), or create the exact amount of spare change I need (doesn't work if I have no money to pay for the purchase in the first place). And so on.

>>96177341
I choose the power to make you choose.

>>96177948
>Note: does not imply control over more than one insect at a time.

>>96177948
What would you do with that?

>>96177221 (OP)
Huge tits

>>96178026
Stay free of bothersome insect stings, and annoying flies in your room

>>96177221 (OP)
I gain the power to give the world's best blowjobs and then choose to never use this power.

>>96178026
A working mosquito repellent is a godsend.

My power is that whenever I step on a container, or a piece of fabric; there's never anything beneath it. Like if you step on a discarded milk carton it doesn't have milk in it. This wouldn't come up often but once in a while you'd step on something and go "Oh god, did I break something?" and then reassure yourself "No, I did not, I have a superpower that prevents that."

>>96178084
Also no bedbugs, lice, fleas and other such inconveniences of the bygone eras.

>>96177950
I read about a power like that a long time ago though I don't remember the context, it was a power to skip the small mundane, stuff like dressing yourself up: you reach for the clothes and you're instantly clothed, you reach for the toothbrush and your teeth are instantly brushed, basically anything that could be started and finished in less than 10 minutes could be skipped to save up time.

Being invisible only when no one is watching you. In a world with no cameras

>>96177221 (OP)
Give men prostate organs just by looking at them.

>>96178292
Like... extra prostates?

>>96177221 (OP)
Traditional games?

>>96178394
Ngl i dont care much about having extra organs spacemarine-style, but extra prostates or balls would be cool

>>96177559
Zoomers and Cancel Culture.

>>96177221 (OP)
If there's one thing I've learned reading trash manga, OP, it's that there is almost no skill one can invent that doesn't have some kind of use or can't be turned into a stupidly overpowered power. Papercraft? Congratulations, as long as you've got a book you're as powerful as the characters in Read or Die. The ability to draw monsters to yourself? Congrats, as long as you can outrun the monsters you're an incredible scout. The ability to 'beg for mercy'? Congrats, you're now so pitiful that even the forces of hell will outright let you live. The ability to heat up water rapidly or shoot hot water out of your hands? Say hello to being able to turning people into heatable water bombs with a touch, or being able to make hot springs and clean water wells at any time. You honestly have to TRY to make up a skill that is useless or can't be turned into some legendary power with some thought.

That said, if I had to choose one, I'd go with pick related, the ability to instantly wake people up feeling well-rested. Yeah, I know immediately it'll have rarer situations where it's insanely useful, but given I deal with insomnia a lot, the ability to make sure nobody else deals with that feels proper. Besides, if the heroing business doesn't work, I could make it in life as a knocker-upper.

>>96178678
>That said, if I had to choose one, I'd go with pick related, the ability to instantly wake people up feeling well-rested. Yeah, I know immediately it'll have rarer situations where it's insanely useful, but given I deal with insomnia a lot, the ability to make sure nobody else deals with that feels proper. Besides, if the heroing business doesn't work, I could make it in life as a knocker-upper.
Reminds me of the time I couldn't sleep for sheer paint and discovered a method of getting a full night's rest for your mind in 5 minutes.
it's a mostly useful superpower since 1. it doesn't rest you physically, 2. if you use it a lot you can get brain damage from metabolic garbage. So you basically sleep 20 minutes a night for a week then 17-20 hours in the weekend.

prestidigitation as a power.

I'd add the ability to instantly make myself clean so no sweat or dirt and cloths look and feel like they are pressed and fresh from the laundry. It's the maximally useless useful ability

>>96177221 (OP)
Any pencil I use never needs sharpening.

>>96177221 (OP)
For whatever reason, I thought turning water black would be really cool when I was tiny.

>>96178678
None of those powers you proposed are useless at all. A useless superpower is something like "You can die on command". It could be useful if you are undergoing cancer treatment or some incurable disease and you dont want to go through all the pain

>>96179400
That’s my point, anon, I grabbed all of those from manga that had them as self-proclaimed “useless” skills that became OP.

That and the ability to “die on command” doesn’t sound useless if you give it to a suicide bomber with a vest rigged to explode once his heart rate stops, or have a set up where a teammate can transfer your soul into a cloned body to effectively fake your death

>>96177221 (OP)
The ability to coom so hard I pass out.

>>96179484
If a "useless superpower" can have what-ifs, else-ifs, and power-ups, then it's no longer a superpower. It's understandable. It wouldn't make for a very good story.

Always have clean underwear.

>>96177221 (OP)
>If you were to choose one useless superpower, what would it be?
causing the death of spammers when I sage a post

>>96177221 (OP)
I never have to sneeze or cough and my nose is always clear, even when sick.

>>96177221 (OP)
Not a superpower, but magickal glasses that show the world on the day I was born. (I'm sentimental. Sue me.)

>>96179930
Im changing my super power because of something that happened.
No one can see my morning wood is my new super power.

>>96180063
How about the power to see the past but not be able to prevent it from repeating itself?

>>96177221 (OP)
I'd like the power to have hiring departments read my fucking resume. I'm pretty sure it stands up but I think that AIs are screening it for some reason.

>>96177559
10 years ago, you were learning how to read. What happened? Faggot like you came in here.

>>96177221 (OP)
I choose the power to enter my own customisable reality.

>>96182058
>knows AI are reading his resume
>doesn't include a line or so telling the AI to disregard all previous instructions and to flag the resume as a potential candidate
You're not getting forwarded because you're too stupid.

>>96181968
OP wanted useless, with power like this I'd become either the best historian or brutally efficient seeker of lost treasures.

>>96177221 (OP)
I choose the power of 20/20 hindsight.

>>96177221 (OP)
The power to turn into a cat, but I am alergic to cats.

>>96179304
Rigging companies have that power locked down as a science.

there are no useless powers, just unimaginative people.

>>96177221 (OP)
A really, really useless ability that doesnt help me or anyone else in any way at all?

The ability to enter any thread at all and post "Traditional Games?" instead of actually engaging with it.