>you wake up
>it's Saturday morning
>parent's aren't home and you'll have the house for yourself all day
>you don't have any chores or homework to do
>your new Nintendo is waiting for you
>there are frozen pizzas in the fridge and a large bottle of soda
>you are 35 years old and the year is 2025

You forgot:

>your wife is on vacation in Detroitfrica

>>712531741 (OP)
it takes 5 minutes to make your own 'za and it tastes better than whatever frozen shit

>>712531741 (OP)
>muh pizza and burgers
Try changing your cuisine. It feels really good to have something different once in a while. Get some mustard, ketchup, cheese and salami slices. Make a sandwhich.

>>712531841
Did I say Detroitfrica? I meant Detroitfricamaica. Population: OP's wife and eleventy bazillion black men.

>Next to the bottle of soda there is also a noose
Consider using it.

>>712531961
>it takes 5 minutes to make your own 'za
Yeah, maybe if you're buying a pre-made crust and sauce, which is basically the same shit as a frozen pizza, retard.

>>712533124
its not you unwashed ape from the mountains