IS THIS THE SWITCH LIFE?
IS THIS JUST FANTASY?
CAUGHT IN THE HYPE TRAIN,
NO ESCAPE FROM THE WARRANTY…

OPEN MY BOX (OOH), I JUST NEED ONE NEW GAME!
I’M JUST A POOR NERD, GOT NO PC TO MY NAME.

BECAUSE IT’S EASY COME, EASY GO,
4K DREAMS? THE ANSWER’S NO.
JOY-CONS DRIFT TOO HIGH, OH NO—
THEY WOBBLE WHEN I LET GO!
(LET IT GOOOOOO~)

MAMAAAA, JUST PAID AGAIN,
BOUGHT THE OLED FOR THE LIGHT,
NOW THE SCREEN AIN’T EVEN BRIGHT.
MAMAAAA, SPENT EIGHTY BUCKS ON KART,
BUT NOW I WISH I BOUGHT THAT STEAM DEEEECK~

MAMAAAA, OOOOOOH…
DIDN’T MEAN TO RAGE AND CRY…
IF I’M NOT BACK ON EBAY THIS TIME TOMORROW,
CARRY OOOON, CARRY OOOON—
AS IF ZELDA U STILL MATTERS…

TOO LATE… MY GAME WON’T LOAD,
SENDS THAT CRASH REPORT MY WAY,
THEN MY CONSOLE FADES TO GRAY…
GOODBYE, SUPER SMASH, IT’S TIME TO GO,
GOTTA LEAVE YOU ALL BEHIND FOR A REFUND~

MAMAAAA, OOOOOOH (STILL ONE GAME TO PLAAAAY!)
I SOMETIMES WISH I’D BOUGHT A PS FIIIIIIVE…

I SEE A LITTLE SILHOUETTE-O OF REGGIE!
SCARAMOUCH, SCARAMOUCH, CAN YOU DO THE WAHOO DANCE!?
JOY-CON DRIFT AND LIGHTNING—VERY, VERY FRIGHTENING ME!

(MAMAMIA!)
(MAMAMIA!)
(MAMAMIA!)
(WHERE’S F-ZEROOOO!?)

I’M JUST A POOR NERD, NOBODY LOVES ME!
HE’S JUST A POOR FAN WITH A CHEAP OLED SCREEN,
SPARE HIM THE COST OF THIS MONSTROSITYYYYY!

EASY COME, EASY GO, WILL YOU LET ME REFUND?
NO!
WE WILL NOT LET YOU REFUND! (LET HIM GO!)
NO!
WE WILL NOT LET YOU REFUND! (LET HIM GO!)
NOOOOOO—

>>713120678 (OP)
I feel bad because you spent time on this so here's a (you)

way too forced and not nearly as iconic as ONE GAME

>>713120678 (OP)
The thing came out almost two months ago, and yet PS5 still doesn't have ONE GAME after 5 years

>>713120678 (OP)
Meh

>>713120678 (OP)
I feel the first half has awkward pacing but the second half is much better. You're almost there.

I GOT MORE KEYCARDS THAN A MAN EVER SEEN
80$ FOR 1 BABY
1 FOR 85$
NO ONE HERE GETS OUTTA LINE NOW
READ THE EULA
OR WE BRICK YA
SWITCH ONLINE TAKING OVER
C'MON

>>713120678 (OP)
lol not bad 8/10

>>713120678 (OP)
I will not pay $80 for games

>>713124802
cool it with the antisemitism

>>713124802
That is correct. You will pay $100 when GTAVI comes out.

>>713120678 (OP)
Fuck off faggot. This isn't 2006 anymore.

>>713125782
Nah

>>713120678 (OP)
Nintrannies btfo.

Effortpost gets a bump from me

>>713129704
Loser OP your thread isn't popular go jump in a hole and die

Lame

>>713120678 (OP)
Bharat Nation will screencap this and make $4 off of your post

>IS THIS THE SWITCH LIF-
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>I-IS THIS JUST FANTAS-
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
>C-CAUGHT IN A HY
HAVE A ROTTEN DAY