Anonymous
6/27/2025, 11:07:10 PM No.713834401
I seriously cannot fathom how Death Stranding managed to bamboozle half the gaming world into thinking it’s a revolutionary masterpiece when it’s basically glorified Uber Eats in a post-apocalyptic mud spa. “Strand-type gameplay” — please. That’s just a fancy way of saying you’ll be stumbling over rocks for 40 hours while lugging boxes like a broke Amazon courier with sciatica.
And don’t even get me started on the story. It’s like Kojima locked himself in a room with a stack of philosophy textbooks, a thesaurus, and zero editors. Every character talks like they're auditioning for a TED Talk held in a black hole of nonsense. “Timefall,” “chiral networks,” “DOOMS” — is it sci-fi or just a Mad Libs fever dream?
Boss fights? More like flail around and hope the camera doesn’t betray you simulators. I’ve seen more engaging combat in cereal box prize games. But hey, slap on some Oscar-nominated actors and throw in a slow-motion walk through sludge while a sad Icelandic track plays, and boom, instant cult classic.
But of course, it's Kojima. So questioning it is heresy. The emperor’s wearing no clothes, but he’s got that Hollywood glow, so everyone just nods along, pretending they "get it".
How do they sleep at night? Probably on a bed made of undelivered parcels.
And don’t even get me started on the story. It’s like Kojima locked himself in a room with a stack of philosophy textbooks, a thesaurus, and zero editors. Every character talks like they're auditioning for a TED Talk held in a black hole of nonsense. “Timefall,” “chiral networks,” “DOOMS” — is it sci-fi or just a Mad Libs fever dream?
Boss fights? More like flail around and hope the camera doesn’t betray you simulators. I’ve seen more engaging combat in cereal box prize games. But hey, slap on some Oscar-nominated actors and throw in a slow-motion walk through sludge while a sad Icelandic track plays, and boom, instant cult classic.
But of course, it's Kojima. So questioning it is heresy. The emperor’s wearing no clothes, but he’s got that Hollywood glow, so everyone just nods along, pretending they "get it".
How do they sleep at night? Probably on a bed made of undelivered parcels.
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